When a celebrity goes to jail, they tend to only spend about a tenth of a single traumatic nanosecond banged up – but not Kiefer Sutherland.
Kiefer Sutherland was released from jail just a few hours ago, having served all 48 of his 48-day sentence for DUI. And, now he's out, Kiefer Sutherland gets to wear his 'full sentence served' badge like a war medal around his prematurely-released ex-con celebrity counterparts.
Obviously the only celebrity other than Kiefer Sutherland to serve their full sentence recently was Paris Hilton. We think this means that Kiefer will end up painted gold in a desert for a canned champagne advert soon or something.
Perhaps the worst casualty of the writers' strike is us. Forget the sacked below-the-line crew members and the striking writers themselves, thanks to the strike the new season of 24 has been indefinitely postponed. And it looked like Tony Almeida was going to be the baddie, too. The bastards.
But, still, at least Kiefer Sutherland found something to keep his mind occupied during the strike – he went to jail. After his DUI arrest in September, roughly his billionth drink-driving arrest in the last couple of years or so, Kiefer Sutherland found himself looking at a 48-day jail sentence.
But while the majority of celebrity jail sentences last for three and a half seconds to make sure that they can't collate enough material to write their cash-in prison diaries, Kiefer Sutherland spent the whole sentence banged up. And in doing so, Kiefer managed to spend his birthday in jail, Christmas day in jail, the new year in jail and – perhaps most traumatically of all – the feast day of Barba'shmin in jail.
But just after midnight LA time, Kiefer Sutherland became a free man once again. People reports:
The actor left at 12:05 a.m., according to jail spokesman John Balian. "[Kiefer] looked like he was glad to be out," said Balian, who added that the actor was wearing a shirt and jeans when he left, and took home whatever personal belongings he originally brought with him. "Throughout his stay, he never griped, never complained," Balian previously said. "He never wanted preferential treatment from the get go, and we respect him for that."
Just because Kiefer Sutherland is no longer in jail, though, it doesn't mean that his sentence is over. By driving his car drunk, Kiefer potentially endangered a number of lives, and that's something he'll be legally obliged to remember for a long time. As well as a five-year probation, Kiefer Sutherland will also be required to attend an 18-month alcohol education course and he's been ordered into weekly therapy sessions for six months as well.
But don't worry if you think that therapy will change Kiefer's lovably raucous persona – if 20 months of Chinese torture couldn't make him talk, the 24 hour-long chats with a disinterested shrink won't change his ways.
However, the repercussions of Kiefer Sutherland's probation will affect all of us in an unexpectedly horrific way. Kiefer Sutherland is out of jail and without a hit TV show to star in and a court-ordered obligation not to spend his free time getting trashed on booze, and that means the likelihood of Kiefer Sutherland making movies again has just shot up. And we all remember The Last Days Of Frankie The Fly well enough to not take this news lightly.
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Debbie says
Why oh why do they let assholes like you take up any space at all on the planet. Didnt mommy give you enought attention or something.
kez says
Honestly get off his back – remember also The Lost Boys and other movies he has made which have been great. I hope that he does the right thing and stays sober for his sake and not for Hollywood.
That is the problem with hacks like you you are looking for the next scandal instead of hoping someone in strife will finally try to do well.
He is a good actor he has won awards and I hope he will be is some great movies in the future.
Good luck Kiefer.
Jeff says
What was wrong with Last Days of Frankie the Fly? I remember seeing that very late at night on HBO all the way back in the late 90’s and loved it. I’ve been trying to find it on DVD ever since, but alas, to no avail. I have a strong feeling you’ve never seen it and just threw an obscure Kiefer movie out there to look smart.