You don't have to be a genius to recognise that reality TV is slowly creeping into TV schedules more and more, and we can all agree that 78.4% of it is an absolute pile of shit. There have been a few gems however.
In the beginning, we had the chance to see what drugs did to Ozzy Osbourne, who appeared to be unaware that any cameras were filming him, and most recently Big Racist Brother. The nation couldn’t have been more entertained by Jade Goody slowly digging herself a bigger grave each day with her racist comments to everyone’s now favourite bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty. If you don’t like Shilpa, you’re a big fat racist too and we'll report you to Channel 4. And now the logical conclusion – we are sad to inform you that US entertainment channel E! has picked up two fame grabbing whores of our so-called celebrities and made a series out of them. We are literally bouncing around the room as we unexcitingly wait for Katie and Peter: Next Chapter to clog up the airwaves.
A spokeswoman from E! told the Mirror:
"We realised that this is a really fun couple, and they really gave all access. In the US it's getting a little harder to get the full access to a celebrity's life."
At least let us gain access to the life of a celebrity who is actually famous for something. Being a fly on the wall when Angelina Jolie plans to adopt a child instead of being too lazy to wait nine months so she can pop one out would be make much better TV. A fun couple? Katie and Peter? Whoever has commissioned this show obviously needs rusty nails placed inside their head before they're repeatedly slammed against a brick wall.
Like the dogs we are at hecklerspray, we constantly lap up any nugget of Jordan-related news because she leads such an exciting life. How we envy a girl whose only talent is getting her tits out to fulfil the fantasies of fortysomething perverts who need some wanking material.
Jordan's husband Peter Andre has also released records that make anyone subjected to them want to claw off their ears and rub salt into the wounds. Listening to tramps singing after they’ve downed several cans of Special Brew rates more highly in our book. Someone has probably helped Jordan to write this following bit of spiel on the official Katie Price/ Jordan blog to remotely try and convince us that watching some balloon-chested munter and a failed pop star who won’t go away will be worth us giving up some of our precious time:
“As the series unfolds, cameras follow Katie and Peter as they attend various showbiz parties and photo shoots jet off around the globe and continue to live their lives in the glare of the public eye.”
Excited? Hmm, it doesn’t particularly make us want to rush downstairs and programme our Sky+ box so as not to miss any of the gruesome twosome's wacky adventures. Katie and Peter: Next Chapter airs April 19 on ITV2 in the UK and April 27 on E! in the US*.
Good to see that ITV loves it so much that they wouldn’t even bung it on at 11.30pm at night. Probably because they’d know their audience share would evaporate and instead of watching, switch to dodgy porn from the eighties on Channel Five. An excellent idea to shun it onto ITV 2 instead, the channel reserved for the unemployed, students and for people wanting to catch up on programmes shown in the mid-nineties.
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kpo says
I may not be a typical US consumer, but I have never actually heard of these people.
Shiver says
Neither have I. *shrug*
nicole says
To: mr Laidlow
wow u r the biggest no life loser ive ever heard of. actually this show is really good, & no not because im some 40 year old horny man yearning to watch katie prices every move, despite ther fame, they are the most down to earth people who are real, & ther love is real for each other. & id like to see u, Matthew Laidlow, start from nothing & then become second richest couple in the uk, so before waste wat little u hav of ur life on a computer putting down some tv show uv never seen, think of the people in it & how it feels for ur show ( thats amazingly good) be trashed.
uh says
opinions dear, + you are funny.
sophie says
hi it is me again sophie ‘ you and katie and the kids rock and you are so funny and sweet xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
LAUREN says
iya katie i am a fan of u and i would like to meet u one day and i will very soon
and say iya to havey and janiour and princess girl and peter
lv from lauren barraclough
Ryan says
Isn’t Katie’s sister Sophie going to be on TelevisionX, going the same route Katie went? That’s what i heard anyway…
Jai says
Yeah, i just found her interview on http://webtv2.televisionx.co.uk/watch.aspx?Video=televisionx@578&affiliateid=100014
She is looking HOT!
Matthew Laidlow says
I believe she on the cover of Zoo or Nuts this week and exposing her nip’s for everyone to gawp at. Of course I only know this from glancing at the magazine shelf.
Ryan says
Ok so i’ve done some digging (I have very little life…) and found that there’s going to be a webchat this month on the 27th. they want us to send questions to [email protected] via email for her to answer.
amy conally says
it is shit