Some say that calling his penis a white supremacist in an interview is the worst thing that John Mayer has ever done.
But is it? After all, that would be to discount every song that John Mayer has ever written. And his annoying girl’s voice. And his stupid hair. And his face. And all of his relationships. And everything else that he has done, is doing or will ever do until the end of time. But using a Playboy interview to spout racially-insensitive remarks was sort of stupid, we’ll admit.
And John Mayer is sorry. John Mayer is so sorry that he interrupted a concert to a) explain what a juddering bellend he is and b) promise not to be so awful in the future. And then he carried on playing one of his own songs, which suggests that he hasn’t quite got the hang of the second part yet.
John Mayer doesn’t deserve all of the negative attention he’s been getting over the last couple of days. All he ever wanted to do was just play a bunch of insufferably girly songs on his guitar while feigning vulnerability by gazing wistfully into the middle-distance, and now everyone hates him.
Why? How was he to know that sleeping with as many celebrities as possible and then graphically describing their sexual abilities, while interjecting with a number of racially-unsettling asides, during an interview with a magazine that old men with dirty fingernails traditionally use as a masturbatory aid would dent his image? Oh, being a celebrity is so hard.
So what can John Mayer do to repair his image? He can’t follow Mel Gibson and go to rehab because, as he said on his own Twitter page ‘they don’t make rehab centers for being an a-hole’. He can’t apologise to the community leaders of those who he offended because it’d take an impractically long time, given that he’d have to apologise to black community leaders, female community leaders, black female community leaders, whoever the leader of Jessica Simpson‘s community is and to the leader of the community of disgruntled masturbating old men.
Instead, John Mayer has chosen to apologise to his fans. And that’s what he tearfully did during a recent concert in Nashville. Look, there’s video of it and everything…
Now, admittedly the thought of sitting through a seven-minute video of an unbearably smug man holding up his own concert to offer apologise for being a berk in front of a crowd of largely moronic females whose only real response is to scream every time he says the word ‘guitar’ might not appeal to you. Luckily, People has excerpts:
Wringing his hands on stage, the troubled guitarist told his audience at the Sommet Center that he fell into “a wormhole of selfishness, greediness and arrogance” and “in the quest to be clever, forgot about the people who love me and that I love.”
What’s more, John Mayer has also claimed that he was about to quit ‘the media game’ as a result of his Playboy interview. Which is wonderful news, so long as he realises that albums and music videos and concerts are technically a type of media too. Once that’s clear we might be ready to forgive him.
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Moo says
Yeah- what HE said! Amen, brother
Beasterdamas says
Actual John Mayer is really talented and I think he says some funny ass shit…
poperon says
I like your article; you are so right! He’s been that way all the time and people paied attention now, after this interview? It seems black people have power! Thank you people!
V says
wow…not once did he apologize for being a bigot. this video would make a fabulous drinking game — just take a swig each time he says, “clever.” what a fecking tooL.
DG says
This guy needs to take a course in PR and also couth.
so what says
so he only likes to have sex with white women…. whats the problem here i mean really? if thats what he likes then thats what he likes… by no means does that make him racist.. As a black man i understand what he was saying and where he was coming from… he could of found a better was of saying it, but i understand..
ilovestaugustinefl says
He definitely accomplished something…a ton of noteriety in a down an depressed world economy.
Sunny says
Obviously he said some ridiculously idiotic things; there are always consequences for bad actions, something I can certainly relate with. Now what remains to be witnessed is if his now tearfull scenes of remorse do any good for him. Many people have no ability for forgiveness…
kacy says
He is a pathetic racist. I don’t think his apology was to the point. I think he tried to excuse his action. Now he and his people just want this over so he can get back to being an idiot. He was so wrong on so many levels. Of course many of you don’t want to acknowledge it. Mayer need to disappear for awhile.
Josh P says
This guy writes some funny stuff, still not sure whether he’s serious or not, but I do get a laugh out of reading his articles.
Bobbie says
I think he is an arrogant pig~~The thing is, getting his point across thru his songs are almost always accepted but the trash that came out of his mouth is just inconceivable. I think his true being came out to the world, to his fans. I mean, if you have to cover up just how ignorant you are….then try it. He soon will realize people will love his music much more. I watched him on VH1 recently and even though I enjoy his music, I would have enjoyed it more if he just sang. I think his mental intellect is that of a dried pea. I mean, I suppose if you want to know just what a great guy he is, just ask him.