What is the one thing The Apprentice has taught us? That’s right, that emotion has no place in the business environment.
And that’s probably why Joan Rivers won Celebrity Apprentice last night – thanks to all the plastic surgery she’s had, the only emotion she can ever properly display is a kind of constant resigned shock. But let’s stick to the point here – Joan Rivers won Celebrity Apprentice last night.
So congratulations, Joan Rivers – you’re now officially as good as Piers Morgan. Please celebrate this fact in the appropriate way, by which we mean either sobbing relentlessly or haplessly attempting suicide.
We get the feeling that this season of the British Apprentice has already peaked – especially now that the self-satisfied bellend with the voice like The Futureheads has been fired – but even if it hadn’t peaked, it would still have some way to go to top the heady heights of last night’s live three-hour Celebrity Apprentice finale in America.
Yes, you read that right. Three hours. Three full hours of watching Donald Trump‘s contorted pink face bellow and puff in a series of ever-more disturbing ways beneath that ridiculous orange pube-bale that he tries to pass off as a haircut.
And live, too, so anything could happen, so long as by ‘anything’ you mean ‘developing deep-vein thrombosis in your arse while praying that the sleeping pills you desperately shovelled into your face at the midway point hurry up and kick in’.
Anyway, the eventual winner of Celebrity Apprentice was Joan Rivers. If anything, winning Celebrity Apprentice was Joan River’s reward for utilising her impressively diverse arsenal of business tactics throughout the show, from hardline straight-talking to fiery diva fits to intimidating would-be customers with her terrifying shiny frightmask of a face. BuddyTV reports on the Celebrity Apprentice finale, which saw Joan Rivers pitted against poker player Annie Duke:
The finale challenge–which had the remaining two contenders raise money by selling Cirque du Soleil tickets and providing a pre-show VIP party–saw Annie way ahead in earnings than Joan. While Annie also won props for integrating her charity well with the challenge, Joan took home points for attracting bigger celebrities and integrating another sponsor, Kodak, into the fore better.
So whether Joan Rivers deserved to win Celebrity Apprentice is still up for contention, but you still have to hand it to her for the tenacity she showed by beating all those other people we’ve never heard of. Her success is proof that 75-year-old women can still succeed in this world, but only so long as they’ve spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on having a number of age-defying surgical procedures on their faces to a varying degree of success and are especially bitter about everything.
But what did Joan Rivers win? This was Celebrity Apprentice, remember, so the prize wasn’t going to be a job with Donald Trump. Instead, Joan Rivers won some money for a charity and, if there’s any justice in the world, a bout of Trump-sex so overwhelmingly nightmarish that your eyes would fall out if you even gave it any serious thought.
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Loretta says
I’ve never watched the show and I am no fan of either Trump or Joan Rivers. But given that Joan Rivers husband committed suicide I believe you have crossed a line with your statements.
Jake says
Maybe Loretta should watch the show, then she would understand why Joan Rivers husband committed suicide.
Billie says
Annie Duke should have won, it was fixed all the way. What happened to all the money that was brought in for the charties, what they gave out was not as much as Annie Duke raised. I will not watch it ever again. NBC just lost another viewer.
Jim says
Joan and her insidious offspring are 2 of the vilest things I’ve ever had the displeasure of viewing on my TV.
So long Trumpy, you really blew it on that one.
Teis says
Trump bowed to the pressure. I thought he had more guts than that. I will never watch that show again. Rivers has no ethics.
cindy says
I was so – – disappointed. Joan Rivers and Melissa were repulsive. I couldn
Falala says
“Her success is proof that 75-year-old women can still succeed in this world, but only so long as they
Gabraeil says
I watched almost all of the celebrity apprentice shows. I didn’t get to watch the fianle of course bcuz it was 3 hrs! lol.. but I kind of knew joan rivers would win bcuz he showed her favortism. I think she was one of his favorites and with that being said… I enjoyed it though. ill still watch it next season.
Will says
Rivers, no less a pig than Perez Hilton without an equally obscene amount of pancake makeup or
Cmaggard says
I agree that Trump showed favoritism to Joan throughout the show. Why didn’t they ask the designers why they wouldn’t work with the show (in the finale? All it would have taken is one phone call ala Judge Judy to establish if Annie was telling the truth or not. The only manipulating I was able to see in the whole season was by Joan and Melissa. I won’t be watching anymore either.
Scott says
I too was dissapointed with the outstretched three hour final episode, espescially with Joan Rivers getting the nod from Trump. Watching every episode Joan reminded me of why she always irritated me with her antic negative opinions and dramatic critisms surrounding every celebrity she looked at. I thought Annie, overall, rightfully deserved the the title. Sure she had a game plan and she used her skills to succeed, as did Joan. But Annie was put at fault for that. I was not suprised it came down to Annie and Joan. For purpose of TV ratings they made the best head-to-head match-up. So I think that was prearranged. Also it would not suprise me if the event designers offered to Annie and Joan were told to back out by the show to put more pressure on each team thus generating more drama for the show.
I thought it was appauling how Joan, a 75 year old woman, would act and behave so childishly. I thought Annie maintained a lot of class under the circumstances. Joan critisized Annie for being two-faced while she herself on many occasions talked out both sides of her mouth. My underlining opinion of Joan is that she sharply and bitterly critisizes anybody and anything that is not convenient to her. Not to mention the useless and counter-productive drama she brings to the boardroom.
Cesi says
This to for all of you out there….
HORRAY for Joan… So what, she had many facelifts… I bet she still look a hell of alot better than you… At 75, give her her due…. she handled her business.. As for Annie, she full of her self, she needed to lose.. Trump picked the best one to win and that is JOAN RIVERS….
Tori Gray says
First of all I want to start by saying, Joan COMPLETELY deserved that win, before I watched this season of celebrity apprentice I was an Annie Duke fan, I thought and still think she is a genius at the poker table, but lets face it, as a human being the woman is lacking, I would probably not watch next season had she won. I dont believe she was playing the game for her charity she was playing for the competition, and wow, how fake, two faced and manipulative can one human being be? Along with Joan, I also was incredibly disgusted with her attitude and general personality of the show, just watching it made me want to slap that horrible excuse for a human being.
And all you people making rude and uncalled for comments about Joan Rivers really should have watched the show closer, the woman played with honor, integrity and genuine love for her charity. How dare someone say that she was the reason her husband committed suicide! Your a real piece of work “Jake”
Thel says
Joan Rivers deserved to win! At least the money she and her team raised will “STAY IN THE UNITED STATES”! I know that Annie played dirty and most people could see through her as she insulted and played her games to the point that she actually fooled Brandy…. She talked trash about Brandy just as she did others.I am glad she lost! So what if Joan Rivers has surgical work on her face…she made the money .. you people did not! She is a Classy and Caring Lady… and the true winner in her came through…it is an honor to see love and respect in a mother and daughter.. and I well remember her husbands sucide… it devasted Joan and she adored him..he was very ill due to his mental state and it could happen to anyone… back off Joan… she is a good lady that is still full of vigor and talent even at the age of 75! GOD BLESS YOU,JOAN..”WAY TO GO”! Thel
Thel says
“I AGREE WITH YOU,TORI.” GOD BLESS YOU!
jim says
tori,
I watched the show pretty close and wonder if you did. Joan attacked constantly, and was incredibly childish. It was a competition and the winner should not be the one who pitched the most fits. I will agree that Annie Duke was not the most likable personality, but Joan and Melissa epitomized shallowness and pettiness.
sorry but I don’t see any honor in name calling or integrity by tearing down your opponent.
BTW– all the contestents had charities that they represented.
I suspect that you strongly identified with Joans behavior.
aldo says
When Trump gives it to the Joker / Rivers, he shows what a loser he is. Really, yes I know Joan is hired by the same production company to do a reality series later, and thus they skewed the game so much. Duke never had a chance, because her opponents (The Joker / Trump / Production company) had stacked everything against her…even then, she didn’t falter, and she asked Trump straight up WHY he allowed the horrible behavior that Joker / River displayed. Never even got an answer. Trump, it was a sad a poor performance. I lost all faith in Trump…SAD and PATHETIC.
aldo says
R U kidding me? How about aging with dignity and not like an old witch? Rivers looks a bad copy of the Joker. Her daughter is 50 and she can’t even close her mouth when she gasps for help from mommy. It is sad on SO many levels.
Duke was playing the game, never responded to horrible behavior Rivers started. The game was pre-determined, and Rivers would have won what ever she did. Trump is a sad and pathetic man/bear/monkey.
aldo says
Same here. It’s pathetic, and I don’t want to spend time on people like that. Trump is a sad and pathetic man to not be the stand up straight talker he says he is. The game was rigged, and Trump ends up being a Troll for picking the old hag Joker look-alike. SSad, but I will never watch anything he produces ever again.
Of course the reason why Rivers were picked is that she is signed up for a new reality series owned by the same company that produces Celebrity Apprentice. WTF..I am even more pissed that I care, but after watching Rivers abusing Duke that way, and NEVER get called out on it is just too much.
iaisha p. says
I believe that Trump kissed Joan Rivers BUTT,He let her say whatever she wants.She is rude and set in her ways. How can she get call someone Hitler and not get repremended but he can say something to Jesse James for calling Dennis Rodman stupid. Just because she’s old doesn’t give her the right to say whatever she wants. I don’t think she should’ve won.
iaisha p. says
DONALD TRUMP AND JOAN RIVERS BELONG TOGETHER BCUZ THEY BOTH ARE FULL OF CRAP
Dagmar says
Do you really think Joan Rivers gives the time of day to her charity? Seeing the video clip of her charity is referred to as a ploy. She is in the business for her claim to fame otherwise she would have been more humble than a screaming lunatic on Celebrity Apprentice.
Dusits says
Tori,
Did you really watch the show????. Donald Trump is a complete joke. First of all, Annie should have won hands down for not being as famous as Joan she was able to get 3x the money Joan recieved but that is not even the point. When you decribed Joan as being a person of honor and integrity, Were you really watching the same program as everyone else?? It was disgusting to watch an older women act like a spoiled little brat with when things weren’t going her way. I’ll tell you what, when I go to work tomaro i’m going to start telling everyone that they are hitler white trash scum. Then i’m going to throw a tantrum, quit work but come back to work the next day. Oh wait, I can’t do that becouse I WOULD BE FIRED!!!!!!!! Boss and Donald Trump do not even belong in the same paragraph a cashier at wall mart has more integrity and honor than Trump and or Joan.
Dusits says
Hey everybody lets try and experment. When we go to work tomaro lets start telling the people we dont like that they are hitler, white trash scum that are way below us. Then lets throw a huge tantrum, quit work but come back to work the next day. Joan did it and she won the apprentice so it should be ok. Do you think we would get fired????
Tha Dragon SourceRa says
Go to http://www.hulu.com and watch it, I just finished it, much better at 2 hours too vs. 3 live. Enjoy!
Tha Dragon SourceRa says
Judge people by their actions, not their words. Joan Rivers actions were horrible against Annie and without provocation. Jesse in the last episode calls Dennis Rodman stupid and Donald quickly puts an end to that. Joan bashes Annie every boardroom, always speaks over hear, take no responsibility for her actions, i.e. causing designer to pull out of the show, and more. Donald never calls down her actions as inappropriate, but he quickly defends Jesse calling Dennis stupid? I mean, this stuff just sticks out as wrong. I lost total respect for Donald, Joan, and Melissa. Joan’s actions scream everything she accuses others of, it is the highest contradiction, I have ever seen in real life. Annie’s action were always business and professional, what you expect for a business based show. If you need to watch Joan again, go to http://www.hulu.com.
Tha Dragon SourceRa says
The other part that was a huge contradiction was that Donald changed the game at the last minute to help Joan. He knew Annie’s strengths were raising money, he said well because you can’t raise as much money Joan, we will make the game based on more. Funny last year that was what mattered. He then played to Joan’s strengths due to her background and made the game based on areas she would have an advantage. I lost all respect for Donald Trump and his organization. Talk about stacking the DECK! I guess Joan was the right person to pick, as they are two peas of a pod, their actions speak loud about their character, which not good, while projecting on to those that are good, their character defects, all the while being completely blind to the fact that is obvious to all outside looking in, what is really going on.
Tha Dragon SourceRa says
Good one! Not if they are fans of Trump and Rivers!
JAS says
I will never watch another Apprentice show.In my opinion this season we all received a gift.We were allowed to see that JOAN RIVERS and MELLISSA are not just ugly on the outside but are as ugly and black as the inside of HITLERS death camps.How could Trump allow such personal attacks on people? Maybe Rosie was right about Trump!
Judy Olson says
I used to like Celebrity Apprentice…but I really found Donald Trump and Joan/Melissa Rivers very distasteful…disgusting is more like it. I had no idea who Anne was before I watched the show, but I knew from the very first show that she had done her homework, watched the previous episodes and was there to win! Joan and Melissa were just childish and downright rude, not just to Anne but to others they didn’t think were up to their standards (Brande and Clint Black for 2). Donald Trump proved that he would do anything for ratings and that he so actively promotes favoritism that I don’t understand how he has gone this long without major lawsuits! His favorites on this show: Joan, Dennis Rodman, Brande, and possibly Clint Black (I love his music, but to publicly say he was a STAR and that he had been misjudged was so wrong on every level).
Now it’s time for Karma for Melissa, Joan, and Donald Trump!
Keith says
Nobody crossed a line. Edgar just couldn’t take anymore of the wench and chose to end it all. Only if we had the choice to keep the foul mouthed, egotistical, self-centered arrogant wench off the TV, we would be in a place as nice as Edgar!
Keith says
Excuse me, there is not one comment on this blog that equals Joan Rivers calling Annie a “Nazi”. And you better look up the definition of “Honor, integrity, and genuine love” because using those words to define Joan Rivers is like using “shy, magnanimous, and authentic” to describe Trump.
brian burch says
~ joan rivers is a total hypocrite. she accepted a Million dollars from the London mafia in May of 2005 to sign a smear campaign against me to help them steal the 4 Billion dollar inheritance that my friend Paul Getty left to me in his Will. she’d never even met me! that is what she calls operating ‘honourably’? like Dina said ‘joan is ugly on th inside & no amount of plastic can change that’. she was unprofessional, uncooperative, sulky, snarky, a liar, & as always just plain mean. she gives nepotism a bad name, and her plastic/cosmetic veneer merely masks the real rubbish that is her greedy vulgar core ~ what a fraud…
GodSized says
Joan won the celebrity attendance category, with fakes. She is such a vile evil person the event planners quit. Annie kept it cool, and should have won.
Leila-Kym says
I was very dissapointed that Joan won. Althought Annie was not my favorite player as of Day 1, I think that she still deserved to win it. She raised the most money…isn’t that the goal of the show? For a 75 year old, I found Joan very disrespecful and childish. And what the hell is wrong with Trump? He left Rivers insult Annie every boardroom and never said a word. He never told Joan to shut up when Annie answered a question he’d ask her. Annie never had the chance to say anything because Joan always spoke on top of her. But Trump told Jesse James not to call Dennis stupid? Where’s the common sense here?
And why didn’t Trump even mention to Joan that the event planning company quit BECAUSE OF HER? As soon as Annie mentioned it, Joan just exploded calling her a liar…Trump could of said something instead of letting the drama continue. Very dissapointed…
Taylore says
I totally agree. The show lost all integrity and respect. Not only was Annie correct in her statement about the Event Planner comments about Joan, but the scene was shown on the show. Donald and Joan never gave Annie a chance to defend herself.
anas says
asd
Pam says
I couldn’t agree more! It was so obvious that Duke should have won. If there was a show titled ‘Celebrities Acting Badly’, Joan and her daughter would be weekly stars. I’ll never watch the Apprentice again either and am now a fan of Annie Duke.