Jessica Biel Is Wonder Woman, To Some Extent

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Jessica Biel Wonder Woman Justice League Of AmericaOn the basis that attractive people never bother to develop a personality to try and woo members of the opposite sex, we're constantly staggered that Jessica Biel even bothered to learn how to walk.

This is because Jessica Biel is beautiful, as the results of any recent 'which celebrity would you like to sleep with most, you delusional civilian?' survey are only too happy to point out. So far, Jessica Biel's movie career has mainly consisted of her playing a succession of smiling leggy cleavages – but all of that changes now, because the chance has arisen for Jessica Biel to take on the role of a lifetime. There's a new Justice League Of America movie being made, and Jessica Biel is in talks to play Wonder Woman. That's right – this time Jessica Biel will get to expand her repertoire by playing a smiling leggy cleavage… with a piece of rope.

One of our most tenacious comment threads is for a two-year-old story about a Wonder Woman movie that almost go made but didn't. Every couple of months, when we think the comment thread is over, someone new will pop up and suggest the name of an actress who they want to play Wonder Woman, be it Carmen Electra, Kirstie Alley or Debra Messing from Will & Grace. But not even that ever-growing list of potential Wonder Womans mentioned Jessica Biel. Which is a shame, because it looks as if Jessica Biel has the Wonder Woman role in the bag.

However, Jessica Biel won't be playing Wonder Woman in a Wonder Woman film, she'll be playing Wonder Woman in the new Justice League Of America movie that'll also star Batman (but not the Christian Bale Batman) and Superman (but not the Brandon Routh Superman) along with a load of other superheroes that you've never heard of. But, hey, if Jessica Biel wants to basically have a leotard-heavy extended cameo in an ego-packed superhero movies full of impostors, that's her business. MTV reports:

Fans looking for ways to describe Jessica Biel will be able to say she's as "beautiful as Aphrodite, as wise as Athena, swifter than Mercury and stronger than Hercules" now that the 25-year-old actress is in talks to play Wonder Woman in George Miller's "Justice League of America" movie, Entertainment Weekly reports. Biel is the first actor to be officially linked with the ensemble project, which will also feature legendary DC Comics characters such as Superman, Batman, Martian Manhunter, the Flash and Green Lantern.

But perhaps a role as Wonder Woman in the Justice League Of America movie will be just what Jessica Biel needs. Because most people currently know Jessica Biel as either Justin Timberlake's girlfriend or the girl from I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry who may as well just have been a couple of tits and an arse dangling from a stick, so playing an already well-established role might boost her acting credentials somewhat. And also, being in a dumb superhero movie will mean Jessica Biel will get to shut up about how people don't appreciate her intelligence because she's so pretty for once. And that's good because a large part of us suspects that having an interesting conversation with Jessica Biel would be like trying to have an interesting conversation with a box of sand.

Read more:

Jessica Biel Might Lasso Wonder Woman Role For 'Justice League' Movie – MTV 

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Comments

  1. JengoPop says

    Awesome, more super movies. I love action. What do you think is the best action movie of late? 300, Bourne Ultimatum, Spiderman 3, Transformers, Casino Royale, or Live Free or Die Hard?
    Vote today at http://www.pollicious.com

  2. Curlybob says

    The author describes Jessica Biel as an unintelligent person. He should get his facts strait. She was a high school honour student
    and attended the prestitious Tuffs university in Boston.

  3. Adam Gade says

    It’s Tufts, firstly. And any moron can be an “honor” student in high school, especially judging on some school requirements. Finally, any well off family can send a kid to a good university. Just look at Al Gore’s kid. You think he wrote some essay that really wowed the entrance committee at Harvard?

  4. Gilbert Wham says

    Look at Al Gore’s kid? Fuck’s sake, look at the Bush dynasty. Although, I’d do the daughters if I found ‘em passed out at a party. And so would you.

  5. says

    Jessica Biel ist… Und die meisten bekannten Schauspielerinnen sind auch gar nicht besser, als sie.

    Sie zieht sich immer noch selten komplett aus, und mir kommt es so vor, dass sie noch leider nicht ganz frei ist. Aber es ist ausgezeichnet und menschlich, keine Scham zu haben! Liebt sie alle, die gut und attraktiv für sie sind? Wenn es nicht so ist, warum sind alle, die gut sind, unattraktiv z. B. für sie? Das alles verstehe ich nicht.

  6. Chuck says

    Jessica Biel is a true American treasure. I think as an actor, she will have to take some risks in order to establish herself as a true actress people will want to watch….In the meantime, let’s just enjoy the view that she provides….A wonderful face & hair, very nice perky breast, nice legs, pretty feet, and along with a flat tummy, possibly(probably) the best butt hollywood has seen sinse Jamie Pressly first came on the screen…..

  7. Azzam Tamimi (ino@ii-pt.com) says

    Jessica Biel is sweet…She has a pussy that drips honey and luscious tits. I wish I could very soon raid her pussy with my dick and accupy it. I also wish I could lick her tits and taste their great honey. I love pussies and tits. (Dr. Azzam Tamimi, director of the Institute of Islamic Political thought, London, UK (info@ii-pt.com)

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