Seriously – if ever there's an Emmy for Best Series In Which Sportswear-Bedecked Pikeys Have A Fistfight Over A Pregnancy Test Which A Smug Man Looks On With Both Eyebrows Wryly Raised, he'd win it hands down. Unless Lost introduced a similar plotline.
Some people out there, however, don't appreciate the genius of the Jezster's televisual efforts. Especially judges. Now, regular readers will know that hecklerspray doesn't have a great relationship with those judge-types – especially after one of them gave us some sort of 'jail sentence' because he didn't believe that Jessica Alba's pants came off in a freak gust of wind and we were simply trying to return them to her.
Manchester district judge Alan Berg has a similarly unforgiving style. After one of Jeremy Kyle's guests was hauled into his courtroom – all because he'd done a spot of naughty headbutting live in the studio – Judge Berg let rip on ITV's finest, calling it 'human bear-baiting which goes under the guise of entertainment'.
Here's Judge Alan Berg's verdict on daytime TV in full:
"I have had the misfortune, very recently, of watching The Jeremy Kyle Show. It seems to me that the purpose of this show is to effect a morbid and depressing display of dysfunctional people whose lives are in turmoil. It should not surprise anyone that these people, some of whom have limited intellects, become aggressive with each other. This type of incident is exactly what the producers want. These self-righteous individuals should be in the dock. They pretend there is some kind of virtue in putting out a show like this."
All very opinionated and that, but what Judge Berg is missing is the vital point. Sure – The Jeremy Kyle Show draws shameless entertainment every morning from watching barely-literate halfwits shout and swear at each other. But – come on. Isn't that providing a valuable social service? What else are chavs supposed to do with their time?
There are only so many vacancies at JJB Sports, you know.