Ultimate fighting is a misnomer, isn’t it? We’ve seen a few matches, and it’s really just aggressive spooning.
Ultimate fighters are wimps. But, hey, at least they can allegedly knock about former porn stars quite well, so that’s something. Just look at former ultimate fighting champion Tito Ortiz – he’s been arrested on charges of domestic abuse against his girlfriend Jenna Jameson, who has been seen with her arm in a bandage since the arrest.
That all sounds fairly depressing, but let’s look on the bright side here. In Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson, it looks like the world has finally found its Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie of jumped-up professional wrestlers and women who have sex with men in exchange for cash who beat each other up a lot. See? It doesn’t seem quite as bad when you look at it like that, does it?
Men are bastards, aren’t they? Pick any male celebrity at random and you’ll be able to see how much of a bastard they are. Tiger Woods? Prolific shagger. Jesse James? Slightly less prolific – yet sometimes Nazi-tinged – shagger. Chris Brown? Woman beater. Charlie Sheen? Shagger, alcoholic, alleged Christmas day woman beater and wearer of ridiculous false moustaches. Bastards, the lot of them.
And now, even though this is literally the first time we’ve ever heard of him, Tito Ortiz has joined the bastard club as well. It’s been reported that Tito Ortiz has been arrested on a domestic violence charge connected to his girlfriend Jenna Jameson. MSNBC reports:
Ortiz was arrested Monday morning at the couple’s Huntington Beach home and released by late afternoon. “He was arrested at 9:53 a.m. for domestic violence after officers were called to the residence,” police spokesmen Lt. Russell Reinhart told TheWrap. “Mr. Ortiz was brought to the station, booked. He posted bail of $25,000 about 4:20 p.m. and has been released.”
For what it’s worth, Tito Ortiz claims that he never laid a finger on Jameson, and the arrest was prompted by an emotional breakdown that Jameson suffered when he confronted her about her year-long OxyContin addiction.
Jenna Jameson has already told reporters that she plans to press charges against Ortiz, and that her twins are fine. Presumably she means her actual twins – the babies she gave birth to last March – and not her honking great fake boobies, but we’re not completely sure. For the time being, let’s just assume that her children and her tits are fine.
But still, none of that should excuse Tito Ortiz for what he’s allegedly done. Violence against women is wrong and, even worse, quite hard to make jokes about. You’ve let us down, Tito Ortiz. There we were, thinking that nothing could possibly go wrong in a relationship between a man who hits people for a living and a woman who has sex with other men for a living, and you let us down. We hope you’re proud, Tito Ortiz. We hope you’re proud.
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Joseph Zrnchik says
Come on, a guy grabs a woman by the arm and is now labeled an abuser? This is as ridiculous as todays legal establishment you moron writers lend credence to. Is it possible that a guy can grab a woman by the arm and not be a serial wife beater? You guys are media whores and not reporters in the least. I think if Tito Ortiz had abused her, she would have more than a band aid on her arm.
If she is a drug abuser, as I am sure many female porn stars are, I am sure there are plenty of times they need someone to grag them by the arm. Amybe she is using the band aid to hide her track marks.
Police beat people within an inch of their lives for claiming their rights, but I guess that is ridiculous, as we have no more Consitutional rights left in this country and the ones we do have police destroy through perjury.
So get off Ortiz’s back.
Tony says
You don’t know the whole story so don’t be so don’t be quick to judge my friend. I’m sure you would hate it if you were put in the bastard club under false charges….
Kevin says
I’ve dealt with a loved one addicted to things like OxyCotin it is hell on wheels. If he hurt her in any way it is still no excuse, but the emotional hell created by someone on OxyCotin is nothing I would wish on anyone.
the shoe fits says
Joseph,
The guys a UFC fighter for god’s sake and you don’t have to be a serial wife beater to lose it and hurt someone ’cause you succumb to your training and lash out. Once is enough to show what a creep you are.
It’s so typical of abusers to blame the victim (and reach to false conclusions and accusations, in this case, drug abuse)…yeah, I’m sure she “needed someone to grab her by the arm”. Kind of like a rapist’s assertion that ‘she was just asking for it.’
You an abuser too?
Justin says
The writer of this article must have very large nuts to call these fighters wimps and spooning .He should really get his facts right plus she probaly fell down doing to much meth.