It wasn't fun living near Jane Seymour – you'd want to go and ask her specific questions about season four of Dr Quinn Medicine Woman and all you'd be greeted with is a wall of deafening noise.
But now Jane Seymour's Somerset neighbours won't have to put up with it any longer because – following endless complaints and protests and bitching about all the noise constantly being blasted out of her country mansion, Jane Seymour has relented and decided to sell up. It's a perfect conclusion for the locals, really, for two reasons. Firstly, whoever buys the mansion won't be so quick to let Radiohead record albums there – which will probably halve the suicides in Bath in one fell swoop – plus it will give them more time to pick on the second-loudest Bath resident, a particularly flatulent bank vole called Ethel.
Jane Seymour's year has been all ups and downs. She's had to endure the tragic death of her mother and then, if that wasn't bad enough, she was beaten at dancing by a woman who can't even stand up. And now Jane Seymour is being forced to sell her country mansion by angry locals – all she needs now is for a dirt-faced cockney urchin to kick her in the shins and tell her that Benny and Barney: Las Vegas Undercover was rubbish and that's 2007 well and truly effed for her.
But back to the mansion bit. You may remember that residents of Bath got the hump with Jane Seymour in the summer because she applied for a 24-hour alcohol and entertainment license for her Grade-I listed St Catherine's Court mansion, and then did nothing but churn out all-night noisy drunken disco parties as a result.
It was especially galling for the locals because not only did Jane Seymour spend most of her time in Malibu, meaning that she was effectively letting strangers irresponsibly ruin the peace and quiet, but the noise also shattered the concentration level of each of the participants in the recent Bath And Wells 'Why Immigrants Should Be Burnt' foxhunt and chili cook-off.
But no longer, because Jane Seymour has decided that she's had enough of listening to indignant yokels howling angrily at her and has sold the mansion. According to her estate manager, Jane Seymour and her husband have already sold the house to a mystery buyer. Fingers crossed that it's either Amy Winehouse or that fat woman from Wife Swap, because we'd hate to think of the residents having nothing to get red-faced and uptight about.
But at least this proves that people power is alive and well, and that even the noisiest of neighbours can be moved on by a sustained attack. See, people living close to Kate Moss? We won't give up on you yet.
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