Some places in the world are stymied by plagues of infertility. Take Uganda for instance, people there haven’t had decent sperm for decades.
So it is the rest of us find ourselves burdened with the unwelcome responsibility of literally flooding that country with entire tankers full of viable spooj. It’s a difficult task, and sometimes their Customs inspectors act like they really don’t even need out reproductive juices. In the end their desire to not die out as a people always wins out, and they stamp the paperwork in the right places and wave our caravans on through.
You’re welcome, Uganda.
Casey Aldridge knows what it is to be cursed with incredible fertility. After all – his knocking up of Jamie Lynn Spears is enough to prove that. If current rumors are to be believed, he’s so fertile that he was even risking another woman’s pregnancy while his precious schnooky-pie Spears was a plump 6 months pregnant.
Like we said, if rumors are to be believed.
Kelli Dawson is a 28 year old woman who wants nothing more than to attend a good prom and pretend like the night will never end. We’ve seen pictures of her, and think she’d look really nice wearing something with poofy green sleeves. Just an idea Kelli, you can wear what you like on your special night.
We actually don’t know if attending more proms is something she really looks forward to, but what we do know is it seems to have been a real possibility in the recent past – she claims to have been ‘hot & heavy’ with young Casey Aldridge while his man-milk magically multiplied into a baby deep inside Jamie Lynn Spears’ pink fortress.
As Monsters & Critics words things:
“Kelli Dawson, a 28 year-old who is the alleged “other woman” is talking about her relationship with Jamie Lynn’s man in the tabloids. Dawson says she met 19 year-old Casey back in November 2006 at the home of her sister. Casey was already dating Jamie Lynn, but according to Dawson that did not matter, they had sexual chemistry.”
You can’t deny love like that, can you? It’s like Antony and Cleopatra, its like that one prince and the Little Mermaid, its like Bruce Boxleitner and Ra, all powerful Egyptian god of the sun. It’s a love for the ages, destined to inspire poets & painters alike. And what specifically will inspire? Stories like this one – a quote from Dawson’s own mouth, according to In Touch Weekly:
“One morning, he called and asked me to meet him in town. I said, ‘You’re supposed to be on a flight right now,’ and he said, ‘I’m not going.’ He called Jamie Lynn and told her that she would have to go by herself. She was irate. I think she knew he was staying because of me.”
Quick! Somebody fetch us a quill, some Indian ink, and a piece of parchment with a delicately frayed border! We’ve got some rhymes a-formin’!
Shooty* says
“pink fortress”
Classic.
The Joker says
Ah, those Spears girls. They really can pick ’em.