This time a year ago, Jamie Lynn Spears was an innocent girl with her whole life wonderfully ahead of her.
She was skinny and popular, she had her own TV show, and more importantly she probably had no idea what her boyfriends winky-woo could have possibly looked like.
Fast forward to now & she's seen it up close. She's likely learned much about the male anatomy – including maybe penal-width & length averages in various countries and also maybe how to untangle a man's special-hairs from his pants zipper. That had happened to us twice by her age – it's actually quite common. We were like a dolphin caught in cruel Japanese fishing nets.
Oh – another difference for her from right now to this-time last year is that little Spears has just become an official mother. They cut her open and let Simba's monkey lift the baby up for all to see.
The giraffes, reportedly, were unimpressed
Well, Britney's little sister did it. She proved conclusively that if you want something bad enough you can really make it happen. Now that she's realized the dream she first had in a tenth grade homeroom class – and had a baby – it's unclear what other future goals she has to strive for. Maybe she'll have another baby by 18.
The Associated Press gives us more specifics:
"Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to a baby girl Thursday morning at a south Mississippi hospital, according to a friend of the Spears family. The friend, who asked not to be identified because the family had not yet announced the baby's birth, told The Associated Press that the baby was named Maddie Briann and weighed 7 pounds, 11 ounces."
Reports pre-birth that came earlier today stated the young Spears wouldn't be able to birth the old fashion way – she was gonna need a C-Section. As Monsters & Critics put it:
"According to reports, the 17-year-old actress – who is expecting her first child with fiance Casey Aldridge – has been told by doctors she will have to undergo the procedure after an ultrasound picture showed the baby was in the breech position. If Jamie Lynn does not have the C-section, she could put the baby's life in danger as it would be born upside down, and its oxygen intake would be restricted."
All this baby talk reminds us of the time we thought we were pregnant. We got rushed to the hospital, put our legs in the stirrups, and just after a nurse yelled 'it's crowning,' a komodo dragon reached out and chewed off the doctors head.
It ends up the thing burrowed up there on a camping trip we took to komodo-country.
Komodo-country is just east of the Hamptons.
It's actually pretty dangerous & a lousy vacation.
To read more, see "It's a girl for Jamie Lynn Spears" on Reuters