For hecklerspray to work there are a few key components that are needed. Namely people and highly sophisticated chimpanzees reading our ramblings and then leaving us rude and threatening comments that often make us laugh uncontrollably.

Without people reading that we sometimes misspell and get stuff wrong, we would have to go back to our old job of annoying you outside chains of HMV trying to get you to buy the Big Issue so you could read poetry written by pissed tramps. So putting two and two together, it seems logical that you need people to access what you do in order for it to be successful. Right? Of course, we’re never wrong, but creepy-looking Jack White – frontperson of The White Stripes – doesn’t want you to hear his songs. And when he found the duo's new album Icky Thump was played on an American radio station, the toys flew out the pram. 

In the modern day age where you can download films and albums illegally weeks before they come out, it obviously means that artists are a little edgy about people not going into a shop and shelling out money for something that is crap. At least on the internet they can do it for free and save another trip to the shop for a refund.  

With the release of the new White Stripes album only a few weeks away Jack White was probably hoping that it would remain off various file sharing sites until its release. Remember kids, this is the same bloke who whored himself out to Coca Cola for an advert which strangely would have been heard by millions of people. Unfortunately, Jack White hasn’t spit his dummy out about the album appearing on the internet. He has bizarrely taken a pop at a radio station for playing tracks off the album. 

We always thought that the sole aim of radio and TV stations was to promote and market music to people. Obviously not it seems, as when Jack White heard that Chicago radio station Q101 played some songs off it he got a little angry and rang the studios to vent his frustration. Oddly-named DJ Electra was at the end of White's frustration as he accused her of helping to mess up the entire music business. Not a good thing to be responsible for, and something that probably won’t go down well on a CV.

In what we guess is a tribute to the band or being a very lazy DJ for playing an album in its entirety for an hour it would only be a little bit of publicity for album which will probably sell shedloads anyway. In another equally strange move this is the same Jack White who has given the shit-filled NME permission to give away a 7” record with one of the tracks off you guessed it, the new album Icky Thump. We don’t quite see why this is good and making radio presenters cry is bad. 

Hecklerspray hasn’t heard this strange rant and hopes that it wasn’t secretly-recorded like other various phone calls of crap celebrities and later leaked on to the internet. If you find it, please give us a heads up and your reward will be a night with any writer of your choice with a booklet of McDonlads vouchers thrown in. 

Read more:

Jack White Reprimands Radio Station – Digital Spy