There are good and bad sides to every situation.
Take Nicole Richie's predicament, for example. She may have a debilitating eating disorder… but at least she'll fit into that summer bikini just fine. And – hey – just think about good old Michael Barrymore. True, certain allegations may have effectively destroyed his career… but we just bet those pool-cleaning bills are a fraction of what they used to be.
Jack White is also going through a similar ambivalent streak. On the plus side, he's just received a nice shiny cheque for his hard work scoring the latest Coca-Cola commercial…
Meanwhile – on the darker side of the moon – certain fans are suggesting that Jack White singing an especially-written song for a Coca-Cola advert has essentially invalidated his entire back catalogue and turned him into an artless corporate whore of the highest order (social scientists refer to this as an 'doing an Aguilera').
The real issue lies in Jackie-boy's previous anti-advert stance. He apparently once insisted that he would never ever even think of doing a commercial, thus implying that the idea made him feel about as sick as… ooh, let's see… being dragged into a sordid sweaty sex encounter with Brundlefly-with-tits Jodie Marsh. Jack White even turned down a Gap advertisement on this basis.
But now Jack's fighting back.
Explaining his decision to become a fizzy drink salesman, Jack White waffled:
"They (fans) assume someone drove up to my house with a truck full of money and a gun to my head, and said, 'Crack open a Coke on television and give the thumbs up. That's not what happened. I saw a beautiful ad, and I wrote a song for it because I was inspired by it. That stuff about the Gap years ago, I even said then that I wasn't saying we would never do a commercial."
An advert being beautiful? Christ – that's the sort of arsebrained outlook that leads to abominations like that butter campaign where people burst into tears simply because they are handed a sandwich.
Almost makes you feel a bit guilty for liking that Raconteurs single, doesn't it?
Oh, who are we kidding? Hecklerspray also knows the soul-searching that goes on with being offered lots of money to star in a TV advertisement. Only last month we were approached by an agency who were clamouring to make us the next Calvin Klein underwear model.
Still. Couldn't have done it anyway. We were too busy being Brad Pitt's body double.
In our minds.
Read More:
White hits back at sell-out criticism – Breaking News
[story by C J Davies]