Imagine a world where OJ Simpson wasn’t allowed to run around freely with the wind billowing in his hair.
What a rubbish world that would be. Sports memorabilia dealers would be able to conduct hotel room transactions without the constant threat of being raided by a disgraced celebrity and his gang of armed thugs. Nobody would write books explaining how they’d murder their ex-wife if they’d murdered them before they were actually murdered. Sadly, since OJ Simpson was imprisoned, that’s the world we live in now.
But not for long – OJ Simpson might be released from jail soon! Hooray!
Thanks to his conviction for armed robbery and kidnap last year, OJ Simpson won’t be released from jail until somewhere between 2018 and 2042. He’s 62 now, which means that OJ Simpson is going to leave prison a very old man. And, if you ask us, that’s a dreadful shame.
True, he might have masterminded an alarmingly violent criminal operation simply because one man had something that he may have possibly once owned, and phoning up to ask for it back didn’t seem to occur to him. And, yes, he was found responsible for the murder of his ex-wife in a civil case. But even if OJ Simpson is a dangerous, violent lunatic – and for all we know he is – isn’t he too much fun to keep locked up?
We want our old OJ Simpson back. The OJ Simpson who wrote If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened. The OJ Simpson who thought that making a hilarious prank-filled hidden camera DVD would be the best way to endear him to the public again. The OJ Simpson who we now feel sort of uneasy about finding funny in The Naked Gun. That’s the OJ Simpson we want to see back on the streets, and we don’t even care if he goes on a berserk indiscriminate stab-rampage immediately afterwards, either.
And neither does his lawyers, because he’s busy trying to get OJ Simpson released from jail ahead of his appeal, although somewhat inexplicably he isn’t using the argument that the planet needs a second volume of Juiced released on DVD. The New York Times reports:
O. J. Simpson?s lawyer asked a three-judge panel of the State Supreme Court to release Mr. Simpson on bail pending the appeal of his 2008 kidnapping and armed robbery convictions. The lawyer, Yale Galanter, said that the trial had been riddled with legal errors and that Mr. Simpson did not pose a flight risk.
Without wanting to burst OJ Simpson’s bubble, this doesn’t sound very hopeful. Asking the same authorities that are still kicking themselves because they didn’t get you for murder to release you from jail because there may have been some administrative inconsistencies while they were convicting you of that thing everyone says you did sounds like a bit of a stretch.
But even if OJ Simpson’s bid for freedom doesn’t work out, there’s still hope that he’ll release Juiced 2 from jail. True, all the hilarious hidden camera pranks will largely involve OJ Simpson pretending to be the sexually-available wife of violent inmate called Hank, but that’s still worth watching, right?
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Jack Schitt says
You are a putz. For starters, if stuff were stolen from you, and the fact that it was O.J.’s stuff and that it had been stolen is not in dispute, would you simply make a phone call? In fact, Simpson called the Las Vegas police, who told him that they couldn’t help him as it was “a civil matter.” Bullshit.
If someone stole your car, and you caught him driving down the street with it, what would you do?
steve says
Ron Goldmans Father last chance to take OJ out before hes locked up forever….hope he doesnt squnder his chance…
Kaylee. says
I’d get my Dad on it.
libby brumbaugh says
you are the putz jack…if i steal your stuff and you bring a gang with you and take it back, YOU are going to prison, probably for longer than oj cause you don’t have his money or name… if you kill me and a friend of mine, then go on a nice ride through the city with police escort, YOU would probably be shot down…. instead of having a nice leisurely drive… this guy committed armed robbery,,, no 2 ways about it. if he knew someone was there with his stuff, why didn’t he call the police and report it and let them take it? no that is too law-a-biding for this thug.. he is where he belongs and should have to stay there…
paluch says
Like it or not O.J. Simpson is a first-time offender in the eyes of the law. Now I know that the majority of people believe wholeheartedly that he murdered Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman, but he was tried and aquitted so in the eyes of the law he is innocent of these murders. Now to this latest case againt O.J. If his name weren’t O.J. and the same outcome were to occur I seriously doubt that he would be sent to prison for 7 to 27 years on a first time offence, but seeing that the judge and jury were bias against him (holding him responsible for the double murders) I just don’t believe that he can get a fair trial anywhere in America or the world! I would ask for a dismissal based on this fact. What good is our justice system if it has to resort to this sort of “revenge”? The court is no better than O.J. for seeking to even the score. Justice is supposed to be blind but its imposible in this case, because everyone in the world thinks he is guilty except for the jury who aquitted him. I thought that you were innocent until proven guilty in America but evidently that’s not the way it is. If I were the judge in this case I would treat O.J. as a first time offender because in the eyes of the law that is what he is. When they passed sentence on him this last time they were seeking revenge and most people thought that it was ok, which makes a mockery out of our justice system. I thought the fair thing would have been to sentence O.J. to 3 to 5 years in prison followed by 10 years supervised probation. that way if he screwed up again then they would have a ligit reason to lock’em up and throw the key away. By the way I do believe that O.J. slaughtered Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman.
Tom says
All you monkeys who cheered for the jack ass should all be very happy that he is in jail.Ha! Ha! thank God almighty he is jailed at last.