You'd have thought that anyone divorcing Hulk Hogan would be happy to leave the relationship with nothing more than a handful of blissful, weirdly aggressive, borderline xenophobic memories to their name.
But that's not the case at all, as Hulk Hogan is quickly discovering for himself. Just days after Linda Bollea, Hulk Hogan's wife of 24 years, surprised the Hulkster by divorcing him, it's been announced that she's after everything that Hulk Hogan's got – namely half of his $9.5 million assets plus alimony, child support fees and health insurance for their son. But Hulk Hogan and Linda Bollea are both adults and we're sure they'll reach a sensible, amicable agreement over the course of time – either that or Hulk Hogan is going to walk around in circles puffing out his cheeks, waving an American flag about and ripping his shirt to pieces, which admittedly does seem to be his answer to bloody everything.
We can't imagine why Linda Bollea is divorcing the bald, long-haired, bleach-blond, handlebar-moustachioed, saveloy-armed, grunting play-fighter Hulk Hogan, but the sad truth of the matter is that she is. Which is news to us and news to Hulk Hogan too, since he reportedly only found out about the divorce through a phonecall from a journalist.
But whatever the reason that Linda Bollea is divorcing Hulk Hogan for – officially it's because the marriage is "irretrievably broken," which could mean anything – the fun has only just begun. Because, according to the filed divorce petition, Linda Bollea wants half of everything that Hulk Hogan's got. That's right – half of the money Hulk Hogan earnt during his wrestling career, half of the money he earnt from starring in Hogan Knows Best and, oh the humanity, even half of Hulk Hogan's Mr Nanny salary.
All in all, the divorce petition claims that Linda Bollea is after half of the couple's assets – namely a mansion in Bel Air, a house in Florida and another house under construction in Las Vegas – plus unspecified alimony and child support for their 17- and 19-year-old children, along with health insurance for their son Nick just in case he drives like a turd and crashes his car again.
News of Linda Bollea's divorce demands comes at the same time as rumours that perhaps – just perhaps – Hulk Hogan's marriage has been in trouble for a while, and that perhaps he and Linda were staying together for the money from Hogan Knows Best, and that perhaps the divorce became official a few days after VH1 decided that it wasn't going to make any new episodes of the show. How correct any of that is, we don't know. After all, the thought of a couple enduring a sham marriage for the sake of a brainless reality TV and the divorcing as soon as it ends seems wholly unrealistic to us.
We're sure the truth about Hulk Hogan's divorce will come out in time, bu for now Hulk Hogan has to worry about shelling out half of everything he owns to his soon-to-be ex-wife. However, there has to be a compromise here – Hulk Hogan is a big man, so why doesn't he just give his wife half of everything that he can physically pull apart with his bare hands? It's a fair deal, we think – face it, what woman wouldn't want to walk out of a quarter-century marriage with a suitcase full of flimsy vest-tops and nothing else?
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Eric says
What a horrible judgemental artical. Whoever wrote this should be fired immediatly and and given a passifier to suck on until they can get their thumbs out of their ass.
Adam Gade says
1. Learn to spell if you intend to piss and moan convincingly.
2. Learn to read/pay attention- the author’s name is plainly displayed so only the blind can be excused from not knowing his name.
tiffan says
You can’t get mad because linda is a greedy bitch.I don’t think she was out there getting hurt in the ring to want half of anything, what she needs to do is get a job!
Lexter says
I think that linda was so wrong for leaveing hogan for that 19 year old .
Lexter says
Acctually let me rephrase that I think lindas a mean stupid ass slut/ hoe that dosent deserve hogan
ryuoka says
i dont see the problem. its even said so there. they where split up and the girl he was fooling with isnt a minor so whats the deal? and something that wasnt mentioned here was that linda went and got herself a bang buddy as well. im sorry but woman complain so much that everything is unfair for woman, then why is it she can go messing around when their seperate but he cant?
Its 100% bull crap. He put his body on the line to make all that money and kept wrestling even after doctors said he should stop just so she could continue her high life. Not to mention she was cheating on him for years.
Ive personally met him, he was really nice despite his macho man attitude. Even his own kids cant appreciate what he does. I’m the same age as his daughter and if i was his son, I’d be spending so much time with him. He works hard and has always been fair, he deserves a better family.
what she needs to do is stop whining like a child(and stop banging one), get a job and act her own age. it sad how woman now days want to share everything the guy earns but complains when the guy wants her to share what she earns. which in her case is nothing. he did everything for her. do u know how many who treat him like a king to be in her place. she had it all and got greedy.
the only thing she deserves is a roll of quarters to call a cab and that’s being nice.
cindy ray says
Is it ex-wife season yet?
Antonio says
Is anyone really that surprised that she is asking for half of everything? I would be surprised if she didn
John says
Guess it really shows never marry a white girl. Damn. How the fuck do you stay married for 20+ yrs and suddenly decide you want a divorce???
What happened to “til death do us part”?? They divorce like they’re buying a new car. Like fuck.
Jenn says
Stupid men deserve to lose half of everything they got. Let the man sweat it out, look pretty, have a thing on the side and wait for the ripe time to kick him out. Until men start to understand the reasons people get into marriage, and that their own marriage will not be different from the men before them, the results will always be the same. Unless they begin to understand the words prenuptial agreement.