How Much YOU Pay For Big Brother

Here at hecklerspray, we're all a bunch of very high-brow individuals.

Why, only the other day the office was rife with talk of Expressionist German cinema. And not a week goes by when there isn't some argument as to the thematic undertones inherent within 19th century Russian literature.

Yet - once a year - there comes a time when we like nothing more than to kick back, pour ourselves a refreshing glass of Pimms, and watch with glee as a group of barely-educated pikeys shout at each other in a house for a couple of months. That's right - Big Brother is almost upon us again.

This time, however … we're all a little more hesitant in our appreciation.

This time we've found out that we've unwittingly been paying for it.

Big Brother, y'see, is a series that frequently attracts police attention - be it the racist arguments that plagued Jade Goody this year, the scrappy fistfights that almost brought Series five to a standstill, or the SWAT team that was poised to go in all guns blazing (should psychotic Michelle Bass finally have flipped and torn everyone to shreds with her powerful clawed forelimbs).

Yet it turns out, right, that the police aren't just doing this because they're fans of the show and - hey - just want to help good old Channel 4 out a bit. Oh, no - it seems that they've been getting paid for their time.

A BBC enquiry has discovered that police investigation costs for the last six years of Big Brother stand at a frankly staggering £350,000. The police-types, however, have also let slip that they find this notion utterly unacceptable (apparently some of them reckon they should be out catching rapists, murderers and potential terrorists… bloody killjoys, eh?).

A police spokesperson said:

"Shortly after the programme began, it was decided that, where it was appropriate, Hertfordshire Constabulary would recover the costs for any potential investigations arising from Big Brother in addition to the overall policing charges levied on Endemol."  

So Endemol has somehow got to stump up £350,000? Shouldn't take it too long, really - not when they earn about an estimated squillion pounds a second from charging people to text in stuff like 'OMG OMG Gwyn is really fit even tho he has the IQ of a woodlouse LOL LOL' or 'i think big bruvva is well wicked, i don't do anything else but watch it, why won't you return my calls Davina, i am coming for u armed with a claw hammer, you whore'.

And on May 25th, the nightmare begins again.

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Big Brother Police Costs Revealed - BBC