It’s The ‘Help Hecklerspray’ Poll: Stu’s Beard

by Stuart Heritage on October 1, 2008 12 Comments

This picture is of hecklerspray editor Stuart Heritage’s beard.

As some of you already know, Stu promised that he’d grow this beard for a month to see what it looked like and then shave it off. That month is up, but now he doesn’t know whether to keep it or not. And this is where you come in.

Stu has already assembled a list of pros and cons about shaving the beard off, as follows:

PROS:

* He won’t look homeless

* He won’t look like one of The Spin Doctors

* He won’t look like Anthony Worrall Thompson

* Girls will theoretically want to kiss him more

* He’ll be able to eat a Dominoes Double Decadence pizza without his face ending up looking like a hairy exploded cyst.

CONS:

* He’s lazy

* Shaving it off might hurt

* It does look sort of good, doesn’t it?

* Chuck Norris

So what’s it to be? Beard on or beard off? It’s up to you. Fill in this poll-thing below and tomorrow night Stu will collate the results and abide completely by your decision. For a bit, at least. Your vote counts!

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Matthew Laidlow October 1, 2008 at 7:34 pm

I still think my beard is better.

Reply

gir October 1, 2008 at 9:43 pm

It looks hideous. It looks like the bigfoot thing from Harry and the Hendersons is kissing a wire brush. Brr.

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magnetite October 1, 2008 at 11:30 pm

I think it’s great. An untrainable terrier of a beard. If you do shave it off, do it in one piece – as I would like to see a duel between it and the late, great Roger Delgado’s beard (which is stored in a vault below Whitehall for when England’s need is greatest) just to see how their fighting styles would differ.

Reply

J Bollocks October 2, 2008 at 5:36 am

God! is that thing legal?
Swivel that photo 90degrees and you get the splitting image of some awful minge well in need of a trim. Uhh

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OB October 2, 2008 at 11:51 am

it looks hideous
i voted keep it.

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shooty* October 2, 2008 at 2:54 pm

Where’s Euclid these days?

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Johnny_Paycheque October 2, 2008 at 5:01 pm

Such a vanity article, this.

Can’t we just keep the beard, and do away with the pathetic 13 stone pile of fucking shit that’s attached to it?

Reply

Stuart Heritage October 2, 2008 at 5:05 pm

Neil Hunter from TV’s Tonightly again, there, ladies and gentlemen. He too has a beard. But only because he’d look like a pretty lady if he didn’t

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Johnny_Paycheque October 2, 2008 at 5:52 pm

We prefer the term “lesbian”

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C J Davies October 3, 2008 at 12:55 pm

‘We’ prefer the term …?

When did the multiple personalities start kicking in, Hunter? Immediately following the stress of having your secret alias revealed?

My thoughts on the issue? I say lose the beard but keep a blonde Hilter moustache. See how Sky News reacts to *that*.

Reply

markie October 3, 2008 at 2:10 pm

Keep it!

Beards rock.

About 1 in 5 women secretly love beards, but less than 1 in 5 men have beards.

do you see?

Reply

Stabby McGee October 3, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Anyone want to fill the rest of us in on where this Hunter chap crawled from?

Reply

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