Sonny Barger is a completely literate man. In the past he’s used his incredible ability to read to pen four books, maybe design motorcycle gang sleeve patches, and practice his cursive until it was pretty enough to win fourth at a state-wide cursive derby.
Also he used it to found the Hell’s Angels.
Yet even with such an impressive, well written, grammatically correct resume, HBO doesn’t seem to care. They think he’s a bandana-wearing douche that smells of rusty switchblades. They probably think that. We assume that is what they probably think.
And now the opinion that the mega channel may or may not have is getting them drawn into court. Because Sonny Barger reads well enough to know he’s been cut out of a pretty big development deal in a biker series he helped pitch to them.
Allegedly allegedly allegedly.
Perhaps it is because the guys at HBO didn’t want their dead skulls and the skulls of their immediate family for three generations in either direction to adorn Sonny Barger’s keychain. Or perhaps it’s because the guys at HBO were just uncomfortable watching all those bugs jump out of his beard every time he’d sneeze. Whatever the reason, HBO has decided to cut all ties with Barger and and run with the show he gave him. Allegedly again.
You see, Barger is a biker – and not just any biker – he founded the Hell’s Angels, and came up with the idea that they should sell grasshopper cookies as a fund raiser instead of robbing immigrants, bar-keeps and one-legged strippers. Well we’re not actually sure about that last bit actually, but he did found the Hell’s Angels.
And he claims to have used his gang-forming ability to craft a show concept so good it had HBO drooling in their would-be used leather motorcycle chaps. But then something so horrible happened only the Hollywood Reporter can find the proper words for it:
“Hells Angels founder Sonny Barger filed a lawsuit last week against the pay cable network, the production company behind the project and its writer/executive producer Michael Tolkin claiming that the concept and the script for the show were developed with his collaboration. The complaint, filed in Los Angeles federal court, contends that HBO, the White Mountain Co. and Tolkin cut him out of the project and violated many of his publicity rights when he demanded changes to protect his own brand.”
His own brand, we assume, being stinky and accidentally dreadlocked. But seriously – HBO better be careful – Barger’s biker boys would probably still do anything for him. After all – it was them who were trying to murder Mick Jagger’s face off, and it was them who unleashed such a horrid legal torrent against the Disney movie Wild Hogs. Remember that?
HBO – you don’t need him. What you do need is a fantastic pilot about the goings on in the office of the 45th most powerful blog in the world. We have all kinds of drama. For instance Stu hoardes staplers, and Laidlow keeps what we all think is Bill Bixby‘s remains in an extremely tattered refrigerator box under a cafeteria table.
Come to think of it, you could even put Bixby in the credits. If that’s not an audience draw ain’t nothing an audience draw.
Read More:
Report: Hells Angels Founder Sues HBO Over Biker Series – Associated Press
gir says
And what is Shawn Lindseth’s deep dark secret?
Find out the possibilities in tomorrow’s hecklerspray/Paddy Power betting odds post!
Rob Delaney says
remember when you called Pete Wentz a guitarist? OK, it was Stuart, not you exactly, but remember that? Remember the pedants like me and Euclid who went off on one?
Welllllll….. *deep breath*
Sonny Barger did not found the Hell’s Angels, he was one of the most prominent chapter presidents, being a founding member of the Oakland chapter, and notably president during Hunter Thompson’s time with them to research his book “hells angels” (good title), but the organisation itself pre-dates him. He thought Thompson was a pussy, apparently.
mst3kster says
HBO better watch out. Those Hell’s Angels will kill people to death.
toolahroolahroolah says
Be careful on this story guys.
HA’s can be rather sensitive as to what they construe as a result and do have UK chapters.
Boots applied to ribs are incredibly painful.
gir says
“HA’s can be rather sensitive as to what they construe as a result and do have UK chapters.”
Well maybe they should grow a thicker skin and stop being such huge pussies all the time.
Shawn Lindseth says
gir – My secret has something to do with the thirty pounds of missing anchovies that disappeared from the back loading dock and the fat lunch lady that only works Tuesdays.
Also it has to do with the seafood black market, huge profit potential and the term ‘inside job.’
I’ve said too much.
mst3kster says
Hmm, Shawn. Sounds kinda fishy to me.
Thank you, I’ll be here all week.
Mike says
well I know I am sick of reading about hells angels with in the last year I have read in the papers about 10 hells angels in the USA out of the small batch of around 330 USA members. the hells angels I have read about were harming raping molesting and murdering women and children.It is sick that any man would support such a gang of filthy trash much less join it.I would not want to watch a show that helps make thrash like this gang money.April 18 2008 Hells angels member he was president of Nevada was found guilty of a child pornography charge.The club stand beside its members convicted and accused of rape molesting harming and murdering women and children.I don’t think HBO need to partner or have anything to do with this gang.
Bodan says
Most hells angels members can be beaten by a much less then average man. Hells angels are cowards and punks that need to live their life in a gang to feel safe. without the gang a hells angels is coward looking for a corner to hide or a gun or a knife to make him equal to a man.
Mike says
I heard the song chicken head by 3 6 mafia and I think it fits hells angels so well.That silly looking gang sign the hells angels have on the back of their gang jackets looks like a chicken head and the members are all head bobbing gay boys always looking to find new men to support them, and they are all cowards like a chicken is suppose to be.
Gilbert Wham says
Surely that’s Alf Garnett in that picture? Apropos the Hells Angels (UK)plc. – the plc bit is not just there for effect, they are indeed, a limited company – they have two chapters; one in London, and bizarrely, one in Sunderland (I know, cos I used to buy speed off ’em. You need drugs, if you’re in Sunderland, otherwise it is simply too much to bear).