Genesis was a band that occupied a very distinct piece of emotional territory here at hecklerspray; a territory full of Ford Sierra-driving, shirt-and-jeans wearing dullards listening to music so bad it makes us want to do a dirty protest in their faces.
Genesis were a band who pretty much sum up the dreadful stadium rock, big drumming bombastic excesses of the 1980s – the sort of music we suspect Noel Edmonds listens to on the way to the Deal Or No Deal studios. Without Genesis there'd be no Phil Collins, and if that isn't reason enough to wish Genesis had never been invented we don't know what is. And now – surprise surprise – Genesis have announced that they'll be reforming for a stadium tour next year. However, the Genesis reunion tour will be taking place across Europe only, so people need to move fast to get their hands on tickets. Air tickets. Air tickets out of Europe.
Everyone wants a slice of the reunion pie now, don't they? Ever since Take That decided to get back together and sell out a few concerts to the red-eyed single mother nobsacks who cried when they split well enough to win a Q Award for it, every two-bit no-good defunct band around has been chasing the reunion pie. East 17 reformed to show the world that they were chavs before any of us knew what a chav was; entirely forgotten boyband Five are having a crack at reforming too, even though there's only Four of them now. Christ, even Kula Shaker are returning; an act which many soothsayers are taking as a sure sign of a coming apocalypse. And now Genesis are reforming too.
We probably should clear some things up about the Genesis reunion, though; as scientifically awful as the trademark I Can't Dance/ You're No Son Of Mine Genesis sound is, statistically Genesis are in the top 30-selling bands of all time, shifting 150 million records in the process. Even accounting for the the 30 million Genesis albums that Jeremy Clarkson presumably owns, that's still a whole lot of records. So perhaps there'll be an audience for the 12-country trundle around Europe that BBC News reports Genesis will be embarking on from June 2007:
Phil Collins will tour with Mike Rutherford and Tony Banks for the first time in 15 years – the only UK dates are at Twickenham and Old Trafford. Collins said the tour was about playing classic songs, not about making money. "We're all loaded enough not to worry about where the next million or two is coming from," he said… The Genesis Turn It On Again Tour takes in 12 countries starting in Helsinki, Finland in June 2007 and ending in Rome, Italy in July.
See that line-up? It'll be the radio-friendly Genesis of tiny bald wife-leaver Phil Collins and the dull ones from Mike And The Mechanics, meaning it looks like Phil Collins' plan to rope in wafty performance art masturbator Peter Gabriel for the Genesis reunion fell on its arse, and here's why, according to Phil Collins:
"This is just music, us getting together and playing some songs. Peter has been doing his thing since he left and he is just a little over-cautious about going back."
And if Peter Gabriel thinks a Genesis reunion is a shit idea, then it really is a shit idea – he's the man who thought that dressing up as a flower and soundtracking wrestling matches was a good idea, after all. If you needed further convincing that a Genesis reunion probably wasn't the best idea around, remember the 'Phil Collins goes hip-hop' album Urban Renewal: The Songs Of Phil Collins – specifically the tracks Sussudio by Ol' Dirty Bastard and that song Dane Bowers did – and imagine if some rappers got it in their heads to do a similar trick with Genesis. Slim Thug rapping about Invisible Touch. That's all we're saying.
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Eric says
Re: Genesis reunion.
Ahh shucks mate, it’s only music. I was surfing around looking for some info on one of my old fave British acts, and found your scathing article. Sure, Genesis put out some downright embarrassing stuff toward the end, but much of their early work was very cool. And while many of us winced while Genesis was cashing in later on, Gabriel continued to create groundbreaking music and concerts.
Besides my fondness for these old bands, I’ve got an open mind and I’m a fan of many lesser known indie bands. Bands that never got the big breaks they deserved. But, I don’t believe bands are in any kind of competition. Old dinosaur stadium bands, or small bands that rock out the local nightclub…if they give it their best, I dig ’em. That any of this matters is a silly notion in this world of very real political upheaval.
Looks like your website aims potshots at celebs, music, movies. I’m more forgiving about these sad folks. I think many of them try their best at entertaining us slobs. At least these nutty entertainers still give it a shot, and either fall on their faces, or sometimes strike some chord with the masses. What’s healthier: to see if you can make a theater full of people happy for a few short hours, or hang around being cynical and critizing the next thing that comes down the chute?
Cheers,
-Eric
Northern California
Dave says
I’m quite happy to line up behind Eric on this one!
Being one of the ‘older and wiser’ folk, Genesis was a major influence upon my musical tastes as a young ‘un and was around during their earlier work.. Along with other ‘progressive’ rock bands of that time, their earlier albums were mind-blowingly different from other bands of the day. We all have our own tastes otherwise what a boring world we would find ourselves in! Let’s be frank – if bands still have the enthusiasm and support to want and be able to tour for their fans decades down the line, then all credit to them and much luck!
I’m still tuned into current day bands largely through my young lads’ interests, but I’m pretty open minded anyway. I do sometimes wonder how many of these will be remembered 30+ years down the line and if they will have enlisted a lasting and curious if not faithful following?
…er – who are you anyway and will you still be spouting acid opinions in 30-odd years time?