Florence Henderson All Boo-Hoo About Missing Pooch

We just decided that there ought to be an Amber Alert for missing dogs as well as for missing kids. If there was you’d hear that ‘eeern-eeeern-eeern’ during your radio or TV programme and we’d come on and tell you about the formidable tragedy that has befallen the latest celebrity to lose a precious pet.

What? You don’t like that idea? Well, that’s okay because our main goal in life is to please Florence Henderson. And we bet she’ll be super pleased with our idea because the former Mrs. Brady’s poodle has been missing for over a week now.

So, screw the missing kids! Missing pets are where the action is at.  

We love animals. Did you know that? Well, we do. We love animals so much that we buy little kittens and doggies that can fit in our pocket and dress them up in little sweaters and have little weddings and birthday parties and… wait, hold up. We don’t do that because animals aren’t actually people. Believe it or not, this is a concept that is often lost on some people, and these are the same people that will go to extremes Billy Joel style for their pets. Like not so long ago when talk show host Ellen DeGeneres practically burst a vital organ on her show while in hysterics about a dog that had been taken away from her friends.

Well, add Florence Henderson to the list. You remember Florence Henderson as the eerily perfect mom on the iconic 70’s sitcom, The Brady Bunch.  We owe so much to that show. It taught us that no one likes a tattler, wearing a wig does not make you less ugly, and that you still have to pretend to do yard work even if your lawn is made of Astroturf.

However, on February 12 her poodle Apple disappeared. Florence has now issued a reward and has enlisted the help of a private investigator to help try and find the pooch. But will Florence be happy with the outcome when the detective returns with photographs of Apple the poodle in the arms of another owner? Will Florence turn to murderous revenge as she hears the tapes of Apple the poodle obeying the commands of another master? This sounds like it's got the makings of a Lifetime original movie starring Valerie Bertinelli all over it. 

Okay, this whole thing is a bit sad because Apple the poodle is something of a comfort dog that goes in and cheers up sickly children during her free time on Saturdays. But you know what? Maybe Apple the poodle got sick of always cheering up others and not being cheered up herself. Did anyone think of that? Maybe Apple the poodle got tired of always having to give, give, and give and getting nothing in return. It’s just a suggestion, but Florence if you open the door and there’s a flaming bag of little poodle turds, you may want to check out our theory.

Read more: 

Florence Henderson Opens Up About Her Missing Dog – The Insider