It's been a long time since we heard from Eminem, but in the meantime it looks like he's been keeping busy by eating cake and walking around in wet clothes.
It's been reported, you see, that Eminem went to hospital over the Christmas period because of a serious heart condition and complications from pneumonia, with sources adding that he's increased in weight to over 200 lb. Of course, this illness and massive weight-gain means that Eminem can't be called Slim Shady any more, and so he's thought to be deciding on a new name, with either Fatt Poorly or Pensioner'z Illnezz being current front-runners.
In the past you couldn't help but stumble across comparisons between Eminem and Elvis Presley – after all, they were both white boys stealing black music and sending it mainstream. But now the comparison has never looked more accurate thanks to reports that Eminem has taken on Elvis' fondness for tubby reclusiveness and bouts of ill health. While it hasn't got to the 'death by shitting' stage yet, it's understood that things are actually getting quite serious for Eminem.
TMZ has reported that Eminem was rushed to a Detroit hospital over the festive period suffering from pneumonia, a bad heart and worrying weight-gain:
We're told Em was taken to a Detroit-area hospital for a serious heart condition and severe pneumonia. Sources tell TMZ Em's weight has ballooned to over 200 lbs. Eminem 's publicist told TMZ: "Over the holidays, Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, was under doctor's care at a Detroit-area hospital for complications due to pneumonia. He has since been released and is doing well recovering at home."
At first, news of Eminem's illness probably seems sudden, but it's only after some thought that you come to realise that, actually, what is it that Eminem does any more? Sure, he's sold millions of records, but his last proper album came out four years ago. Since then there's been a Greatest Hits collection and a weak mix album to his name and nothing else with little on the horizon. Frankly Eminem could have caught pneumonia by digging a moat around his house naked, or contracted his heart disease by swallowing bees for a bet for all we know about him these days.
So hopefully Eminem will get better soon, and maybe even think about making more music at some point. Still, ever the optimists, at least there's something to be gained from Eminem laying in a hospital seriously ill – it'd be one less opportunity for him marry his ex-wife and then divorce her another couple of times.
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MauriceColgan says
Another Elvis stole black music jibe. They are getting funnier as the decades go by.
Music does .not belong to any creed or colour.
Just ask Ludwig Van Beethoven about the Irish air he used for his magnificent 7th Symphony.
I bet you’ll try too :-)
Denise says
OMG! That is so funny!!!! Oh please please please post a picture of the fatty!
Gilbert Wham says
Elvis had an heart-attack, ‘cos he got too bleedin’ fat.
He weighed nearly half a ton, he looked more like a pregnant mum.
Elvis is dead, Elvis is dead.
Elvis had a gammy leg, he had a gammy head.
He had a gammy kidney, he’s better-off dead.
In August 1977, Elvis met his fate.
But he couldn’t get into heaven, ‘cos he couldn’t get thru the gate.
Apropos Emineminemineminem, if an ordinary drug habit gets you hospitalised for ‘exhaustion’ in Showbizland, what the shuddering fuck do you need to be doing to yourself to be carted off and have those symptoms? Egad.
Gilbert Wham says
Unless, of course, the answer is ‘pie’.
Kaitlyn says
OMG u all are wrong if u r happy he’s sick because even if u dont like him its no rfunny he is sick. if u didnt notice he has a daughter that is still dependent on him. now wht happend if he gets worse then wht happens to hailie!? now as u can tell i disagree with all of u because eminem is awesome to me and i rlly hope he does not get worse and loses all the weight he gained. and i really dont like elvis either. i support u marshall.
ur biggest fan
Kaitlyn Kidder
check out mine and my friends website for eminem fans its eminem123.faithweb.com
Brian Quinn says
Elvis was the Greatest Singer/Performer who ever lived. He was completely sui generis and remains so to this day. Elvis fused black music with country and western/hillbilly to create music whose whole was greater than the sum of its parts. Elvis stole nothing from anybody.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating and Elvis’ popularity is stronger today than when he was alive.
Noor Ameeri says
i totally agree with kaitlyn she’s rite in evryway!
wat if it gets worse? then will it be so funny to u guys? i rlly do hope Marshall gets okay and loses his excess weight, im a rlly big fan of his work n he didnt steal anything from anybody BTW! he shouldve never gotten like ths anyway :(
Kaitlyn says
HAHA DISREGARD THAT. I SUCK COCKS!
Allison says
wat is wrong with you guys you all think this is funny and its not pneumonia can f*ckin kill you and you guys are f*ckin mean as hell
Allison says
oh and elvis didnt die from a heart attack you retard he died cuz he overdosed on some pill thing dumbass
Adam Gade says
Well, Kaitlyn clearly doesn’t actually care, so that’s one “staunch” supporter down. Besides, unless you’re extremely unlucky or in a third world country, pneumonia won’t kill. And seeing as how M&M has been able to put out garbage since day one and get away with it, he isn’t lacking in the luck department.
Fuck da clowns says
I SAY FUCK THE CRITICS AND STOP TRYIN TO GET A LAUGH OUT, COMES SOME PEOPLE LOOK UP 2 HIM, AND YES I DO LOOK UP TO THIS WHITE AND I AM BLACK BUT IT DONT MEAN SHIT. AND I DONT REALLY CARE IF HE WERE TO SAY NIGGA.
Stabby McGee says
Oh, the delicious irony. If this were anyone else getting pneumonia, Eminem would have no problem writing a half-assed rap that mocked their affliction. Not to sink to his level and find humour in his ill-health, I nonetheless would like to thank the brainless among you who seemingly have no limit to your comic potential.
Jade Russell says
Anyone out there whom can’t understand the true pressure that EM is under will probably never know. Just give him the love and support any great person deserves. Then maybe your own life would make more sense and worth. Which is what he has been trying to show you all. Please take care of yourself EM.
Fantasy says
This shit is not funny. The guy’s really sick & all u crazy fuckin’ people can do is laugh. When his next albm comes out, I hope he shits on all the haters.
Haters got to learn says
Amen, this critic is ruthless- he could do with getting ill and mocked, so you can see whether you’ll make any sort of comeback, to which is as true and worthy as Eminem’s Recovery album.
Stacey Van Gorder says
This is old but i stumbled on it. U r lucky i can’t get a hold of you i would rip yr fkn head off . How dare u criticize someone when there ill. I wish I could see you Denise so I could Knee u n yr skull and bust yr teeth out of yr mouth. Fatty-don’t you mean urself when u look in the mirror-u ignorant skank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:-(
William says
Yeah whoever wrote the article is for sure a complete douche bag, hop off.