Diddy is a man with several names. His Mum calls him Sean Combs, his oldest fans call him Puff Daddy, his slightly younger fans call him P Diddy and everyone else calls him That Moron That Did The Godzilla Song.
However, there's one soon-to-be human being who'll be allowed to call Diddy 'Daddy' – his new baby. It's been announced that Diddy is expecting his second child with girlfriend Kim Porter, or K Piddy as nobody calls her. Diddy must be proud that he will have someone else to pass on the Diddy legacy to, and we can envisage many happy afternoons in the Diddy household as Diddy teaches the minor Diddys the correct way to fall off a motorbike and then mumble unenthusiastically over the top of some old Sting record.
Diddy has been keeping something of a low profile lately. Time was when you couldn't move for stories of Diddy being struck by lightning or Diddy getting frightened by some scary clowns, but since he decided to become known only as Diddy, all things Diddy-related have gone cold. Until now, that is: Diddy has announced that the Diddy brood is about to grow a little bit bigger. Well, Diddy didn't announce it, one of Diddy's slaves did the dishing:
"Sean Combs and longtime girlfriend Kim Porter are happy to confirm that they are expecting their second child together. The couple is thrilled about the news."
You'd have thought that the last thing Diddy would have wanted was another kid, since they only seems to cause him headaches. Between the birth of Diddy and Kim Porter's first baby and this new pregnancy, the couple split up and Diddy was sued by Kim in order to have him legally declared as their first child Christian's father. And then there's the other child that Diddy has sired with an ex-girlfriend that's costing him thousands of dollars a month. Of course, while they were split, Diddy was also paying out thousands of dollars in child support to Kim Porter, but he's managed to save quite a lot of money since getting back with her in 2003, the sneaky devil.
And if you thought that Diddy would be too busy hastily baby-proofing his gaff for the arrival of baby Diddy to concentrate on his rubbish music career, think again – his new album Press Play will be hitting shelves within two months. But it was a nice thought while it lasted, wasn't it?
[story by Stuart Heritage]