P Diddy's name used to be Puff Daddy. hecklerspray is very scared to use it now, fearing some violent repercussion, or worse yet, a forced musical collaboration with the man who's business cards it once graced.
But the press cannot be silenced – and neither can we for that matter. A New York court just ordered him to pay big bucks in current child support, back child support, and exorbitant advertising rates to hecklerspray.
Stop questioning that last one and get those cheques signed! So commands the law!
Sean Combs – that's Diddy to us commoners – cranks out kids more than he cranks out hits. Granted, his kids are born with intrinsic value, whereas the hits – not so much. Another difference between the two is his kids aren't earning him money, they're costing him. Just you tell us – how's a guy supposed to find a rhyme for that?
Combs has been ordered by a Westchester Family Court to pay $19,000 (up from $2,795) a month for the support of one of his kids. That sounds really expensive, but it was a $35,000 monthly fee an appeal or two ago. Diddy reportedly tried taking the nineteen grand monthly payment to NY's highest court for a second opinion, but they wouldn't hear of it. That stuck him with the bill.
Not only that, he was ordered to pay almost $400,000 in back child care fees. It was supposed to cover the kid's education (among other things). Rumour in it's truest sense has it, the kid's currently enrolled in the most expensive home-school program ever. A judge later lowered the $400,000 to an undisclosed amount. Combs also has another kid, for which he pays $11,000 per month.
If the ungrateful mothers of his kids want the money so bad, they shouldn't tie up the legal system. They should return to the set of some of his video shoots. There are probably still countless hundred dollar bills stuck in trees and under the hedges directly across from his golden wind machine. Come on! You know what we're talking about!
In related news, a semi-recent in-house study has it hecklerspray may also be child of the Puff. This has never been scientifically proven, but we all seem to remember swimming around his left nut some time ago. It was very warm and surprisingly pink for a hip hop mogul – how could we know such detail if we were never there? If someone could let that Westchester Family Court in on that, we'd be mighty obliged.
Read more:
Diddy's Supreme Diss – E! Online
[story by Shawn Lindseth]