Cliff Richard Is Official Botox Hag
Then buzz it up
June 1st, 2005 at 11:30 by C J Davies
Scary-eyed old Christ-addict and all-round heterosexual Cliff Richard (CDs) has revealed the secret of his youthful looks. "It’s true," he admitted, probably while flashing that vacant grin of his. "I’ve had botox."
"I want to carry on looking good," he said of his decision to undergo the procedure (which involves injecting the wrinkle-smoothing stuff directly into the patients’s crumpled face). Well, Cliff, if you define "looking good" as having those bland features of yours scraped of what little character they have, then… yeah. You’re bang on the money.
Despite making music roughly about as exciting as a sawdust sandwich, Cliff has nevertheless provided his fair share of surprises over the years. There was that Young Ones (DVDs) collaboration a couple of decades back. And then there was that time at Wimbledon when he serenaded the crowd, amazingly making the game of Tennis even more boring than it already was.
There’s also those photographs that are rumoured to have been circling the tabloids. But - seeing as hecklerspray has a certain phobia when it comes to courtrooms and libel cases - we think we’d better stop right there.
Cliff insists that this sudden bout of surgery has zip-all to do with his fans or his career. "I don’t do it because I imagine the audience wants me to look a certain way," he explained. All he wants to do, apparently, is simply feel better about himself every time he looks in the mirror.
Feel better about himself? Better have his memory wiped of The Millennium Prayer, then. That’s a hefty cultural crime to be hanging around anyone’s shoulders…
[story by C J Davies]
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June 1st, 2005 at 8:08 pm
Mr Davies, you are pathetic…first of all this story is old news, Cliff had botox a good few years ago now and said he would never use it again as it made his eyebrows drop. I honestly do not understand sad individuals like yourself who write articles of this nature, why do you feel the need to ridicule a man who has never done any harm to anyone…he has been making fantastic music now for 47 years and is officially the most successful singles ever, plus the second most successful act of all time…he continues to perform to sell out crowds all over the world and is the only artist from the 50’s still making the charts today, doesn’t this tell you something?…not only is he well loved by many millions of fans all over the word but his music is also still very popular to this day…so the best thing you can do is keep your ridiculous opinions to yourself
Cheers, Craig
June 1st, 2005 at 11:43 pm
Oh, shut up.
June 2nd, 2005 at 10:15 am
If it’s such old news why was it in Sunday’s newspapers? Proves that Cliffy is just as vain as these silicon-titted models, with tweaks a-plenty.
June 2nd, 2005 at 5:00 pm
Hi,
Well I guess the only reason it was in the newspapers recently is because he has a new album and single out, so they just wanted to bring up anything they could to once again try and dis-credit him. I am not trying everyone should like Cliffs music, thats simply persoanl taste, but there are so many personal attacks against him that are simply not called for, as I have said in the previous post, he has never caused any harm to anyone and simply does not deserve it.
June 14th, 2005 at 4:10 pm
I think Cliff is one of the most nicest and decent men there ever was. And he is one of the most handsome men before Botox or whether he uses it or not. He is the best British singer the UK ever had besides Tom Jones. He probably looks and sings better than the ones making fun of him. And I know he acts better as he is a Christian. He has never hurt anyone or bothered anyone intentionally. SO LAY OFF OF HIM!!
June 14th, 2005 at 4:13 pm
He has never used Botox but twice I think and he said he did not like it. He has never had plastic surgery like the majority of the other celebrities. Find somebody else to pick on and make fun of. There are plenty of them that is for sure. Although we should not make fun of anyone as we would not want anyone to make fun of us.
June 14th, 2005 at 5:37 pm
Thank you Lily, glad im not alone on this article…just pathetic, which is why I agree with everything you said…apart from one thing, Tom Jones…he’s ok, but not as good in my opinion, plus he has had a dig at Cliff in the past year, which I was not at all impressed about
Anyway…doesn’t matter..thanks for adding your thoughts
Cheers, Craig
June 15th, 2005 at 7:00 pm
Thanks Craig! I do not like Tom Jones singing as good as Cliff’s either but I do like his singing. I don’t think anyone who likes Cliff is pathetic. I think they are to be commened for it.
June 15th, 2005 at 7:01 pm
I meant applauded for it.
June 15th, 2005 at 11:19 pm
And God wept …
June 17th, 2005 at 5:36 pm
Hi Lily,
Just to clear up the pathetic statement, I meant Mr CJ Davies who wrote the article, not Cliff fans
Cheers, Craig
June 20th, 2005 at 10:21 pm
The reason boring and pathetic people try and find something wrong with Cliff is because there isn’t much. If he was on drugs or a recovering alcoholic with twenty kids he’d be alright but because he’s just a decent man he’s and idiot!?!? And NEVER EVER critisice anyone because of there beliefs you idiot. That is up to them and you have no right to mock them for it.
June 21st, 2005 at 7:43 pm
You are right David!
December 14th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Thanks for educating me, I now know what the words GUTTER PRESS mean. cliff is worth ten of you and he wouldn’t stoop so low as to speak ill of other people like you do. It shows a distinct lack of intelligence or knowledge. it’s thanks to people like cliff that you get to play the music you like today, he was in at the start and boy he was and is brilliant . so leave him alone.
December 14th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Now come on, this is ridiculous. We all know, at the bottom of our hearts, that Cliff’s music is a bit rubbish really. I first experienced him when I saw the ‘Wired for Sound’ video, as he whizzed around in a non-gay roller disco. For me, it’s been downhill since ‘Summer Holiday’, which was awful. He seems like a genuinely nice bloke though, and he looks great for a man who’s older than some fully grown oak trees.