Brooke Mueller has got it right – sure, lots of people think that Charlie Sheen is an unhinged, unfunny toolbag.
But what can they do about it? Nothing. Brooke Mueller, though, married Charlie Sheen. That might seem like quite a counter-productive thing to do, but Mueller’s all about the long game – she knew that Charlie would eventually wig out, try to beat her up and get hit with a restraining order as a result. Which is one more restraining order than the rest of us have got. Lucky Brooke Mueller. We wish Charlie Sheen would violently attack us sometimes.
But Charlie’s found a loophole – because Brooke Mueller is currently in intensive care with pneumonia, Charlie Sheen is allowed to ignore the terms of the order and visit her in hospital. Charlie Sheen wins again!
Despite his marriage to Denise Richards crumbling in a mess of fear and accusations, and his arrest on Christmas day for alleged domestic abuse against his current wife Brooke Mueller, it’s hard to see Charlie Sheen as the violent type, isn’t it? That’s mainly because – based on his disinterested, monotonous line-readings on Two And A Half Men – he barely looks as if he has the intellect to move and think at the same time, let alone swing his fists around with any degree of accuracy.
But what do we know? Something must have caused Brooke Mueller to keep Charlie Sheen away from her with a legally-binding protective order. That protective order was due to be the subject of a court hearing yesterday, when a judge was set to determine whether it should be lengthened or not. That didn’t happen, though, because Brooke Mueller fell ill following emergency oral surgery and wound up in intensive care as a result.
According to Mueller’s mother, Brooke has pneumonia in both lungs, plus infected kidneys and a high fever. The upside of this is that she’s now receiving the best possible professional treatment for her condition. The downside, though, is that it means Charlie Sheen gets to visit her again. Us Magazine reports:
Judge James Boyd gave Sheen, 44 — who was arrested Christmas day on suspicion of felony menacing, second-degree assault and criminal mischief — permission to be in Mueller’s presence only while she is in the hospital. All other terms of the protection order — including the “no harassment” points — remain intact.
What? The ‘no harassment’ points remain intact? Well, what’s the point of even going there, then? Honestly, getting to violently intimidate your pneumonia-stricken wife is the best bit about hospitals. God, they’ll be telling us that we can’t unplug the ventilators to charge our iPods next. It’s political correctness gone mad, that’s what it is.
But let’s be positive. There’s a chance that Brooke Mueller’s pneumonia might end up saving her marriage to Charlie Sheen. Not because a desperately sad set of circumstances have made them realise how important they are to each other, or because they’ve been forced into a controlled situation allowing them to talk through their problems in a calm and reasonable manner – but because maybe the pneumonia will spread to Brooke Mueller’s brain and she’ll forget what a raging dimwit she’s married to.
Can that happen? We don’t know. We’re not doctors or anything.
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lex says
A scarier thought would be if that dimwitted former Fleiss girl Denise Richer (because of Sheen) gets an ounce of sympathy because of this situation. You can count that she is gloating all the way to the park with her children as she fills them with photographers, by personal invitation. Take my photo please I am smiling being a good mother see how I can push a swing while in hair and make-up. Ugh that is the real tradegy of all this. Denise Richards may get 15 more minutes of fame off exploiting others problems, rather than dealing with her own.