How will 2007 be remembered, do you think?
The year that Tony Blair stepped down after a ten-year tenure as Prime Minister? The year in which California wildfires prompted a mass evacuation? The year of the monks and their Burmese protests?
Possibly, yes. But it seems that for some of you, 2007 will go down as the year that Hecklerspray made a boo-boo by including one too many syllables in the first line of a winning celebrity haiku. Yeah, yeah – we made a mistake. Sorry 'bout that.
Oh. And if, say, anyone was so enraged by an error in a bit-of-fun weekly poetry contest as to label the writer 'a pallid excuse for a human being', might we direct you to this. Or this. Maybe, y'know, take some notes or something.
Anyway. On with the show. This week we're looking at bespectacled director-type Woody Allen. But first, let's have a quick peek at last week's winner.
Seven days ago, we asked you to come up with yer best Celebrity haikus about the fact that Paul McCartney was reportedly dating actress Rosanna Arquette. The winner was someone called Wambachumba, who wrote:
Paul gets angry calls
from Heather. Because you see,
he still has the leg.
Well done, you. As for the rest of you – chin up. You can always try your hand at this week's challenge. We want you to write haikus about this:
Director Woody Allen has quit shooting his new movie in Barcelona following disputes with locals.
All you have to do is remember the golden rule of haiku (and, Christ, have we been reminded of it enough times this week): five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. An example based on this week's story would look a little somethin' like this:
Woody Allen will
have to take cameras home
after arguments.
Okay, okay. That was rubbish. And that's why we need you to do better. Entries in the comments box below, if you please …
Read More:
asura says
Be happy
Onion peeling cry
Won’t be last long!
-Asura
JRB says
no more Allen film?
wouldn’t watch it anyway,
not really that arsed.
euclid says
Neurotic Woodman
Catalonian reject
Should stop bugging us
Smoodge the Naked says
Nobody expects
The Spanish Inquisition
Better hide Woody
JBollocks says
Woody Allen films.
Churning out dross, who cares? Me
“NOT in my back-yard”
And a little something for you HS writers.
The writer hurt, sulks:
How dare those punks question me?
They’ll rue the day.
JBollocks
sparkymike says
Spain is reluctant
To forward its tax money
To wife adopters
sparkymike says
Catalan women
Once more lay unsatisfied
Spain has no Woody
JBollocks says
C J Davies,
What? it only took two people, repeatedly saying “you made a mistake”? For you to grudgingly admit you cocked-up.
I re-iterate and expand on;
you’re ‘a pallid excuse for a human being’
(Are those ‘sposed to be quotes? I guess your education was as thorough in Grammar as it was in Maths).
Look out the window,
Pillars of civilisation still standing,
Get on with day, fiddling whilst London is burning.
JBollockx
C J Davies says
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boredom
shawna says
a real haiku doesn’t have to be strictly 5/7/5, it just has to be short syllable lines, roughly 5/7/5, but not exact.
Simon R. Gladdish says
I never found Woody remotely
Funny. Does that mean
Something’s wrong with me?
Simon R. Gladdish says
Woody Allen
Is about as amusing
As the war in Afghanistan.
Simon R. Gladdish says
I heard Woody interviewed
The other day and decided
I quite liked him after all.