Despite her new single being such a bad photocopy of SexyBack that it's hardly worth talking about, Britney Spears is taking her comeback very seriously – even to the point where she'll open Las Vegas nightclubs for cash and publicity.
Britney Spears spent Friday night opening the new LAX nightclub in the Luxor Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, where she was also seen getting close to rubbish recently-divorced emo mid-life crisis magician Criss Angel on the dancefloor. This has led to speculation that Criss Angel is helping to craft Britney's opening performance at this month's MTV Video Music Awards. That might be a good thing – if Criss Angel is going for a magic-themed Britney Spears performance, maybe he can perform the biggest trick of all – making Britney Spears look like something other than a terrifying washed-up red-eyed nutter with a loose vagina.
Britney Spears has a lot to juggle at the moment, like her imminent musical comeback and trying to prove that she isn't a child abuser, but it's good to see that Britney still has time for the important stuff in life, like opening Las Vegas nightclubs and canoodling with one of the few people on Earth even more ridiculous than her.
Although Britney Spears apparently started shrieking death threats at people last time she was in town, and has vomited on boys after trips there in the past, Britney Spears returned to Las Vegas at the weekend to open a new nightclub, LAX at the Luxor Hotel, and to also set off even more rumours that she's becoming romantically involved with Criss Angel, the beyond-parody magician who somehow brought Cameron Diaz into his divorce recently even though we figured that Cameron Diaz wouldn't really go for men who look like your Dad going to a fancy dress party as Lil' Chris. But, as People reports, that's not exactly putting Britney Spears off:
With her new song "Gimme More" blasting, the pop singer showed up just after midnight as the celebrity host of the grand opening of Luxor's LAX Nightclub, dashing Internet speculation earlier in the evening that she'd cancel. "How you guys feeling? Let's have a good night," she told the crowd from a platform above the DJ booth… At one point, she took Angel's red lollipop out of his mouth and put it in her mouth… After an hour in Noir Bar, Spears returned to LAX and was rejoined by Angel, who danced with her for several seconds before taking off one of his necklaces and putting it around her neck. Twenty minutes later they left for Noir Bar together.
We wonder if Criss Angel will be able to match up to the other various men in Britney Spears's past, like current custody sparring partner Kevin Federline, that bloke who Britney puked all over and the alcoholic who Britney fell in love with in rehab about 20 minutes after she tried killing herself. Unless, of course, Britney Spears's relationship with Criss Angel is purely professional – after all, Angel is supposed to be helping Britney prepare a show-stopping opening to the MTV VMAs this month.
But if it's magic that she's after, we wonder why Britney Spears chose Criss Angel when she could have picked David Blaine, a man who doesn't need to resort to dressing up like one of Funeral For A Friend because he can get plenty of attention just by titting around on a gyroscope. And if magic's the way that Britney Spears wants to go, why doesn't she just give the people what they want and perform a provocative dance routine in front of Siegfried And Roy's tiger in a bikini made out of braising steak?
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