It's been a few hours since Britney Spears was wheeled out of her house on a stretcher, possibly on drugs, after a dispute with Kevin Federline over custody of their children.
So what more do we know now? Well, the main news is that Britney Spears has gone to hospital for tests. Not maths or spelling tests – it's far too early to put a strain like that on someone as fragile as Britney Spears – but psychological tests. After a run of weird behaviour that's lasted long over a year, doctors will soon check Britney Spears' system for drugs and alcohol and then begin to assess her mentally to see if she's a danger to herself, her kids or anyone else around her. This process might take anything up to three days, which means by Monday morning we'll know if Britney Spears is a heartbreaking sufferer of a mental illness of just a bit of an overdramatic numpty.
It was the news that shocked the world. No, we take that back – it was the news that the world had been waiting for since some point in the middle of 2006. Last night the Britney Spears/ Kevin Federline custody bitchfight came to an ugly head when Britney's apparent refusal to follow court orders and hand her sons Sean Preston and Jayden James back to their father led to fighting and an overzealous response by the emergency services including six police cars, fire trucks, ambulances, helicopters, a First World War tank and the Tyrannosaurus Red Dragon Thunderzord out of Power Rangers, and ended with Britney Spears being wheeled into an ambulance.
According to some reports, Britney Spears was strapped onto a stretcher and taken away because she was thought to be under the influence of substances. What those substance are – if any – remains to be seen. It could be drugs, alcohol, some kind of violently undiagnosed wheat intolerance, other drugs. We'll find out soon enough after doctors at the Los Angeles Cedars Sinai hospital in Los Angeles have carried out their tests.
More worrying, though, is the notion that doctors could invoke a Californian law that would hold Britney Spears in hospital on suicide watch for up to 72 hours while psychological examinations are carried out on her. And the worst case scenario following that would involve Britney being taken to a secure mental facility.
We'll just have to wait and see what the outcome of Britney's tests are and hope that there's nothing seriously wrong with her. But it doesn't look good – over the last year Britney Spears has shaved her head, flashed the world her genitals, gone to rehab, called herself the devil, made a feeble attempt at a suicide and, perhaps worst of all, released an album that sounds like Dr Stephen Hawking blasting over an electrified cattle grid covered in amniotic fluid. And we have 72 hours to wait before we officially know whether this is all a sign of genuine mental illness or just a slightly overenthusiastic way of getting rid of your children.
Still, that'll teach Jamie Lynn for briefly becoming more famous than her sister.
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Viking Lumberjack says
“released an album that sounds like Dr Stephen Hawking blasting over an electrified cattle grid covered in amniotic fluid”
She’s trying her hand at music now, like David Hasslehoff?
huh… OH CHRIST ALMIGHTY! I just remembered that she used to be a pop star! At this point, one would wonder at how many people remember that seemingly vague bit of trivia, or just think that she’s famous for being famous, much like Paris Hilton.
Kim says
HAHA, nice britney one ups her stupid impregnated sister. Nice family rivalry going on there. I think I found the house where it all went down here…www.housefront.com/62739
Avatar Episodes says
I’m surprised she passed that test… lol.