Brad Pitt Has A Tiny Penis: Juliette Lewis

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Brad Pitt Tiny Penis Juliette LewisWe feel for Brad Pitt, we really do – he must wake up every morning, look at Angelina Jolie sleeping next to him and think "Why didn't I stick with that ropey-looking girl from Romeo Is Bleeding?"

But even though Brad Pitt and Juliette Lewis are ancient history, it doesn't mean that Brad didn't leave an impression on Juliette. He did – it's just unfortunate that it was an impression of an underdeveloped pistachio nut hiding in a Brian May wig. Because Brad Pit, according to Juliette Lewis, has a little tiny penis. It's been reported that Juliette Lewis used the Brad Pitt dinky winky anecdote in the middle of a recent concert by her band The Licks in Seattle. And that's a piece of information that those seven people and one injured dog won't forget for a long time.

Brad Pitt has it all – a beautiful girlfriend, all kinds of massive houses around the world, a financially-successful movie career, a much-loved humanitarian streak, children in every colour of the rainbow. But there's one thing that Brad Pitt doesn't have, and that's a penis that doesn't look like the blistered tip of a newborn baby's thumb.

That's according to Juliette Lewis, anyway, who was Brad Pitt's girlfriend back when she was famous. But although Juliette Lewis has now shunned film acting for stumbling around London dressed as a Native American and making a noise like a badger being pushed down the stairs, she hasn't forgotten the good old Brad Pitt days.

Specifically, Juliette Lewis hasn't forgotten the part of the good old Brad Pitt days that involved Pitt prodding her with his penis, which is apparently the size of four grains of sand piled on top of each other. According to veteran gossip columnist Mike Walker:

"After playing a rockin’ set with her band at club Chop Suey in Seattle… Juliette Lewis – who was hot ‘n heavy with hunky Brad Pitt back in the Stoned Age – was mingling at the bar when a wise guy fan blurted out: 'Hey, Juliette, how was Brad Pitt in the sack anyway?'… [Juliette replied] 'He was no… BIG deal, if ya know what I mean! As Juliette turned to head back on stage, the guy yelled: 'Are you saying Brad was the PITTS?' Juliette started laughing so hysterically she banged into a table and sent everyone’s drinks flying – but quickly ordered a round on her and hopped back onstage, still giggling."

We'll say one thing for Juliette Lewis – she might come off as hopelessly bitter by trying to score spurious points by publicly discussing her far more famous ex-boyfriend's penis, but she bloody well loves her puns.

So the question is this: does Brad Pitt really have a set of microscopic genitalia or is Juliette Lewis telling lies to put him down in public? Perhaps the answer is a little bit of both. After all, seeing Juliette Lewis take her clothes off in Strange Days seemed to make most mens' vegetables shrivel up almost to the point of becoming internal, so imagine what looking at her in the flesh must have done to Brad Pitt, the poor lamb.

Read more:

Juliette Lewis Takes a Shot at Angelina Jolie's Man's Manhood, Mocks Pitt? – National Ledger 

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Comments

  1. estrell says

    Juliette lewis was not a happy camper because Brad will not hang out with her anymore. She felt like being ignored by Brad since he’s been with Angelina. SHE IS TRYING TO GET HIS ATTENTION!! SHE WANTS BRAD BUT SHE’S BRAD PAST AND JULIETTE LEWIS DOESN’T WANT IT TO END LIKE THAT. SHE’S HURT SO, SHE TO GET EVEN WITH BRAD!!BRAD HAD LONG TIME RELATIONSHIP WITH ALL HIS GIRLFRIEND AND EX WIFE. They must be content with him. I don’t Angelina will stay with him is she is not content and happy. JULIETTE LEWIS SHOULD STOP BEING A 5 YRS GIRL THAT GETS EVEN IF SHE DOESN’T GET WHAT SHE WANTS.

  2. says

    Estrell: It is very wise for past girlfriends to move on, but in this case Ms. Lewis would be correct in saying that Mr. Pitt does indeed have a small penis. Obviously you didn’t get to see the nudes photos on the net before they were forced off. But let me assure that in this instant-microscopic is being nice. Cherio

  3. BOogaWoogaMcKee says

    I saw the Brad Pitt nude photos. The pics showed him to have a teeny weeny. Even if “he was just in the pool” the little button on an otherwise beautiful body was disappointing.

  4. lollapalooza says

    I spoke to Juliette after one of their gigs. She said she was totally misquoted and didn’t actually say that !

  5. Lola says

    yes, I remember that nude pic. His body was amazing — but his winky was smaller than average.
    However, it does seem to work…

  6. Sara says

    yeah in that picture of him nake, his dick didn’t look big becasue it was flaccid… he wasn’t walking around sporting an erect penis. Flaccid penises are significantly smaller than erect penises. In fact, you could have a 3 inch long flaccid that grows to 9 when its erect. it all depends on blood flow and elasticity of the skin

  7. leah says

    There are pics proving Bradley is not well endowed, in fact the are pretty damn pittiful!
    poor braddy and his teeny weeny peeny!

  8. ben says

    most likely he is a grower, and his flaccid size might look smaller than most. but in reality, when its erected it can be over 6 inches.

    but who cares about his penis? brads a cool guy!

  9. shana says

    from what i gather it seems the “journalist” took a lot of liberties with a pretty innocent remark. in fact the only one that actually said BRAD PIT HAS A SMALL PENIS is the author.

  10. billy says

    Angelina was quoted as saying she preferred effeminate men. And BP does morph into his girl of the moment, it seems. Very funny!
    Maybe with his 30 million salary per movie, he could have something injected to enlarge his pee wee?

  11. Kas says

    It’s a lie, I’ve seen his penis when he was naked with Gwyneth, there’s not a thing wrong with it!!!

  12. holly says

    brad pitt is HHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT SHOW ME HIS PENIS I DONT CARE IF IT IS SMALL!!!!!!!

  13. debra says

    Obviously there are a few children here who have no idea what a man’s penis should look like. Get you eyes off p o r n mags. Brad is packing enough. And trust he obviously knows how to use what he has. The women he had been with can’t seem to move on. so I think Mr.Pitt is just fine. And I did see the pics. the man is above average.

  14. Chad says

    Brad Pitt is a beautiful guy. When his nude photos made the internet “circuit” he was the first to say that he is not the most endowed of men. So, what. He has a hot bod and a hot looking cock. He has had a string of lovers and has done much to improve this world including New Orleans and Haiti. That in my opinion is the essence of a real man not how much meat is hanging between his legs. It is a shame we have all become so superficial over things like this in life, that at the end of the day, does not mean much. How many of “you” out there have been with men who are hung like horses but are real assholes and hardly “men”. People need to grow up.

  15. mr. kotter says

    You people are all deluded. I looked at the nude photos and he has a slightly above average sized penis. This is coming from someone who has seen many flaccid penises in his time (US Navy).

    This is what porn does to society.

  16. Stinky says

    Who cares. Some of you kids need to grow up. Juliette lewis is rumored to be the grand canyon down stairs. ugh!

  17. butter says

    ah so i see. that is why whore angelina cant let him go and seems her only life although shes doing with other guys. how about that?

  18. scott says

    look at how many girls are obsessed with penis sizes for fucks sake. a female that makes fun of a man’s penis has absolutely no class whatsoever. and seriously sluts, stop watching porn and find yourselves a boyfriend.. get to know each other and you will find that penis size isn’t important.. to the slut who wants to get fucked like a dog in heat, i guess it is important to her void like cunt.. but in all reality, who wants a piece of trash like that?

  19. Warmcozy says

    The journalist is definitely taking liberties here just to drum up an audience. According to the quote, she didn’t say anything about his penis size. In the story as written, she was asked how he was in bed and she said he was no big deal. That’s all. I have my doubts about the story in the first place since that doesn’t sound like anything legitimate news sources have quoted her as saying. She’s usually very positive about Brad.

  20. pete says

    I totally found a comment that you left way back in August the most “calibrating” thing I have read
    …in well…logically thinkin’ the past 3 months.
    Thank you.

  21. says

    it is amazing how much it can grow up to almost 7″ when erect! And as big as my wrist around. All the girls tell me I have a really nice one and every girl friend I have ever had have always come bake to me…I think just for that. So I know what it is like to be used for just your body.
    Cheers,
    RR

  22. kyl says

    girls have this fantastic way to check you – “u have a small one” :) that’s just a game women plays men :D
    “Neither patient age nor size of the flaccid penis accurately predicted erectile length” and “While results vary across studies, the consensus is that the mean human penis is approximately 12.9–15 cm”
    Juliette Lewis is just man-hater woman, sad that Pitt left her… and I see the reason if she’s soo stupid bitch

  23. Loni says

    But is he really? Maybe he is a twisted, callous, cruel and heartless machine, who gives a fair impression of a cool guy.

  24. Pierre says

    LOL, you people are stupid especially the majority of the people who are talking about penises are women who have no knowledge about penises. He has an average flaccid penis. If you girls call that small good luck with dating pornstars.
    Second of all Angelina Jolie is HOT and Juliette Lewis is NOT.
    Third of all Juliette Lewis is saying that Brad Pitt is no BIG deal, but she doesn’t sound serious. The writer has just exaggerate the things she said.

  25. John says

    Haha, you are right the girls on this site claim that he has a small one. Lol, they also claim that they don’t watch porn. YEAHHH RIGHTTT!!!!! :D

  26. Ricky says

    I just saw the photo and his penis looks about the same size as mine when it’s soft. Mine is about 7 1/4 “- 7 5/8″ depending on the situation and how aroused I am. That being said, it’s safe to say he’s probably packing at least 7″ or more. That’s big enough for about 99% of women…..

  27. baptiste says

    Ricky July 27, 2011 at 3:31 am
    I just saw the photo and his penis looks about the same size as mine when it’s soft. Mine is about 7 1/4 “- 7 5/8? depending on the situation and how aroused I am. That being said, it’s safe to say he’s probably packing at least 7? or more. That’s big enough for about 99% of women…..
    So ya both have little dicks, simple as that nubby!

  28. batista says

    ierre April 1, 2011 at 8:06 pm
    LOL, you people are stupid especially the majority of the people who are talking about penises are women who have no knowledge about penises. He has an average flaccid penis. If you girls call that small good luck with dating pornstars.
    Second of all Angelina Jolie is HOT and Juliette Lewis is NOT.
    Third of all Juliette Lewis is saying that Brad Pitt is no BIG deal, but she doesn’t sound serious. The writer has just exaggerate the things she said.

    Another little stub!

  29. Rdhrs says

    LMAO @all the girls making fun of brads dick. Act like you wouldn’t eat his shit just to get a chance to lick his “tiny dick”

  30. Irma says

    Indeed! I agree with you, it’s of course smaller than most ppl would expect from someone like Brad, but come on, it has a decent size, that I’m sure it gets bigger when he…

  31. WillyWonka` says

    A woman is more than acunt and a man is more thanacock. This is a very small woman with a need to talk down to a man she hates to admire. Bradly Pitt is a very BIG man where it counts most to be big. He has a big heart, a big bank account and lots of kids with very BIG love for their dad. Also, Brad’s wife respects him which places them both as close to Hollywoody as the planet Mars. Its a real tribute for them to come off as martians in Hollywood where no human thing lasts for long no matter what its size. And another thing about size… In Hollywood the size of a THING is closest to the hearts of men, only a man who loves women would care less about who is unimpressed with the size ofhisSHOE. Pisson HayawathaKuntababe who coulda shoulda woulda but wasn’t anything at all.

  32. Don Uan says

    That’s real classy Juliette. Real classy. Just FYI, even a telephone pole seems small to the Grand Canyon. That’s free advice. His size must be perfect for one of the hottest women on the planet…I think that lends more credibility.

  33. crash taylor says

    Batista,
    I have a 9″ cock and your still a no-brained asshole. It doesn’t damn matter. FACT: Woman who need huge cocks have horrible smelling vagina’s and men who make fun of other mens penis’ have something small too: THEIR MINDS!!

  34. Ricky says

    I really must apologize, it has just been brought to my attention that i was using the metric system, its 7 1/2 cm, but hey, thats all a real man needs anyway, so im ok with that.

  35. crash taylor says

    I forgot to mention, the 9″ cock belongs to my boyfriend Jeremy, but your still a no brained asshole !!!

  36. Mark X. says

    I went to highschool with Brad Pitt. I saw him in the locker room on more than one occasion – even talked to him one the way from the showers and dressing together. He was totally normal. Not big, not small, just normal like 95% of the male population.

  37. melissa says

    … and maybe it had something to do with the substances the Scientologists were feeding him when they were doing all that ” auditing” and pheyton removal therapy or whatever.

  38. melissa Stirling says

    Who cares? I’d do him and enjoy it… but he’s married and he’s famous… And it’s disrespectful to be scrutinizing a person’s genitalia… That was nice of Mr. Pitt’s high school aquantance to stand up for him, though… :*)

  39. mark says

    hi holly my names mark you like hot guys? because i am hot so u ever wanna know me email me and we can get to know each other ? xx holly sounds just nice to me so mail me holly tell me ur age etc il post u some pics an stuff xx

  40. Taha Mokhtar says

    It is true that flacid penis is small, usually, and it gets longer when it is erect. But, unfortunately on seeing that naked picture of handsome, heartthrobbing Pit, it was obvious that he has a samller than usual penis regardless whether it was flaced or erect. I was totally astonished by that picture he should have resorted to surgery to have a bigger one.

  41. Priya says

    Why do you stupid guys take everything so personal and assume that a chick is such a man hater because she doesn’t like Brad Pitt?
    Why do guys have so much respect for a guy they barely know?
    What is so fantastic about Mr Brad Pitt anyway?
    His best friend is a complete whore Mr George Clooney you heard the man he said ”I fucked too many chicks for politics”
    so don’t deny it you know that most people in Hollywood just sleep around and are in it for the sex because in Hollywood you can get away with so much crap and get kudos for being sexy and provocative.
    You don’t know Brad Pitt personally so how can you say he is so cool how do you know that if you met him you would get along with them

  42. Priya says

    Brad Pitt might not even get along with half the guys that are rooting for him i never understood why people put so much effort into admiring the stars don’t people realise that people that are not famous might have so much more going for them in their lives then the famous.
    There are other attractive looking guys out there i feel disgusted that guys would get offended by a woman who doesn’t like Brad Pitt as if she has some sort of problem or bad taste in men or something for not liking Brad Pitt.
    I personally don’t agree with most of Hollywood’s sexiest list i hate Hollywood for trying to tell who to find sexy i don’t think they have a clue i’m sticking with my own choices in men and refuse to listen to who Hollywood thinks are sexy men.

  43. Priya says

    I firmly believe that Hollywood promotes the bad boy image and all the stereotypical things that are unattractive and unsexy in men. I’m fed up of Hollywood giving bad guys more credit then they deserve and then call a woman a man hater just for speaking about her genuine opinion on who she finds attractive and not give a media brainwashed answer like Robert Pattinson, George Clooney or Brad Pitt or even Bill Clinton.
    You must be stupid to fancy these men.
    Why do women still go for bad guys when they know the truth about the guy is bad.

  44. Anonymous says

    “Sara March 8, 2009 at 10:31 pm
    yeah in that picture of him nake, his dick didn’t look big becasue it was flaccid… he wasn’t walking around sporting an erect penis. Flaccid penises are significantly smaller than erect penises. In fact, you could have a 3 inch long flaccid that grows to 9 when its erect. it all depends on blood flow and elasticity of the skin”

    Not quite. A flaccid penis at 3 inches can be 9 inches erect? The elasticity of the skin would show honey. In a cold shower or not does not matter too much. I can only go by what I have but 8 inches flaccid is about 11 inches erect. Think before you speak next time.

    From what I have seen from the pictures of Brad he is a skinny guy in general. Though, height, big hands, big feet, being black is a false stereotype for being big anyway. All body types and race vary, not one is dominant than another. But, I figured with Brad being 5’11 he would be slightly longer considering the average height stereotype of guys being larger, but as you can see with Brad, not always.

    Brad is about 7, maybe 8 inches. It’s not terrible. Give the guy a break. The average index finger length is about 3 inches for his height. His flaccid penis is about 4.5 inches. With a little blood flow, about 6 inches.

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