It’s Rumour Time: Beyonce Is Pregnant!

Rumour has it that one single sperm out of the millions and millions found in Jay-Z’s roca-jizz has won the race to fertilize Beyonce’s little ovarian egg.

According to Actress Archives, Beyonce was recently spotted in NYC with her belly seemingly being pushed out from the inside - a phenomenon synonymous with pregnant women. And fat people. And people with hernias. And people with pillows under their shirt.

But, what with the recent out-of-the-blue wedding reports, pregnancy is the most realistic choice and, according to OK! Magazine, a source close to the couple told them:

“I’ve heard from at least two people that Beyonce is pregnant.”

It is also supposed that a “big magazine” will report the news this coming week on their front cover.

Word is that Beyonce’s devout Christian father, Matthew Knowles, got a whiff of the pregnancy rumours and demanded that they get married, or else our all-loving, all-powerful lord God will make Jay, B, and little baby Knowles-Z burn in eternal hell fire. And with that as the alternative, who can blame ‘em?

Even her little sister, Solange, has been speculating about Beyonce becoming a mother. She told People.com:

“Whenever Beyonce decides to have a child, I definitely think she’ll be banging on my door. She’s kept my son over the weekend. She’ll call me like, ‘How do you get this stroller out? And what about the car seat? I don’t know how you do this!’ And I’m like, ‘People do it every day’.”

So, are the rumours true? What’s it to you; how about you mind your own bloody business and keep out of theirs?

Unless of course they do make the news public to a “big magazine”, in which case they’ll be set up for the same insulting invasions of privacy that Christina Aguilera’s leprechaun-faced baby-freak got - the ugly fucking idiot.

Read More - Is Newly Wed Beyonce With Baby Bump? - Actress Archives

Read More - Beyonce Takes Lessons In Motherhood From Sister - SFGate