When you’re looking into an advert you have to look beyond the obvious and into the depths of what makes advertising people and companies decide that things are a?permissible?idea. Take as an example, the ill-fated attempt by Sabatier knives to reinvigorate their brand by getting in Danny Dyer as a spokesperson. Things often don’t go the way you want them to.
Cue Bernard Matthews Farms and their ?3 million (let that sink in for a moment) attempt to rehabilitate serial granny-botherer Marco Pierre-White from disturbing waxwork version of Michael Hutchence back to celebrity chef in one fell swoop.
What better way to achieve it than to pair him with celebrity nice-guy and all-round former Eastender Martin Kemp?
The campaign is part of an advertising strategy to not only reinvigorate the traditionally cardboard-tasting fowl but also to put more punch behind a brand which has suffered by the death of its CEO and also at the hands of preaching cock (cook?) Jamie Oliver, a man who looks as though he had a severe allergic reaction to a bee sting as a child which never quite calmed down.
The problem with “Marco Talks Turkey” being the title of the campaign is that to ‘talk turkey’ implies that one is discussing the important issues of the day which, in this case, seem to be turkey.
It trips over itself with its ill-conceived idiocy.
Of course, Bernard Mattews advertising has always suffered at the hands of poor puns and jokes that just aren’t funny as we can see from the helpful graph below:
Things have only got worse ever since the iconic chicken joke which has been around in one form or another since time began. It is supposed that the first inscriptions which approach language were a crude representation of this joke. Think about it. The last thing you want is for people in the future to think that “Marco Talks Turkey” was the pinnacle of our society.
Why Martin Kemp? It’s easy to appreciate that Bernard Matthews might not be able to attract an A-Lister to eat dry, flavourless white meat while a menacing sexual presence fawns over them from across the table, but why get an irrelevant former popstar/actor who clearly believes that a woman’s place is in the kitchen to be Pierre-White’s ‘comedy fodder’? It doesn’t stand up to any other scrutiny and until they admit that it’s because he was cheap, questions will continue to be raised. By us.
By far and away the most prevalent issue in this advert is that Marco Pierre-White speaks with the smooth, assured conviction of a serial rapist, constantly setting the viewer off into not only horrified shudders but also leaves the over-riding impression that the only reason he keeps his hands on the table-top at all times is because he’s been chastised for letting his hands wander up the lizard-faced Kemp brother’s trouser leg.
Add to that the poor editing which make it look as though Pierre-White is desperate to dominate the conversation with his inane poultry patter and the grasping desire of Kemp to talk about football in order to stop the former Hell’s Kitchen presenter from unzipping his flies. It’s little wonder that this advert comes across as having all the charm and warmth of Kristallnacht.
If you’ve got any Badvert suggestions then why not tell us about them and we might even poke fun at them…
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Irene Peach says
I was searching for the video after hearing about it from friends as I am a big fan (and slight embassador amongst friends) of turkey and I personally think that you don’t really know what you are talking about Michael. I am a granny and I would love to be bothered by Marco Pierre White!!
Sarah Runton says
Well I’m NOT a granny and I’d love to be bothered by him any day! Complete tosh – I love the ad. GO TURKEY!
Don Parker says
I agree with the ladies Michael, think it’s a great advert and something they (Bernard Matthews) should have done a while ago. As for flavourless white meat, that’s poultry isn’t it? like many things in your article it just doesn’t make sense.
gilbert wham says
These are quite possibly two of the most alarming comments I have read on this site, ever. And I do not say this lightly; given the Great Wacko Jacko Flamewars of 2010, and the as yet unresolved Muse Debate. ‘Turkey Embassador'(sic)? MPW rape fantasies? Egad.
john greenacre says
As an expression of pure amazement – did you honestly spend time writing that? Obviously, yes you did. Jaw dropping.
Si Sharp says
Indeed Gilbert. It doesn’t ring true that there are earnestly-named fans of Bernard Matthews or MP-W trawling the internet for articles, and all feeling the need to leave comments. If you were an advertising exec and your campaign seemed to be getting a negative response from a cynical media, it might help your relationship with your client if ‘members of the public’ were seen to support the campaign and disagree with the criticism.
Don’t get me wrong the public are more than willing to point out that hecklerspray talks shit, but this reaction seems painfully far-fetched
Nice try guys, you’ve been rumbled, now go buy a latte and do some brainstorming or whatver it is you do.