This week we say…

Folded:

• Edinburgh Fringe Festival (kicks off 7th August so start thinking about what you’d like to see)
• Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood (it’ll do until Red Dead Redemption gets here next year)
• Dominic West (he’s from Sheffield. Who knew?)
• Brotherhood of the Wolf (if you’ve not seen this by now you really should – it’s bonkers)
• The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (pants compared to the original, but for a completely unnecessary remake it passes the time)

Creased:

• Edinburgh Tattoo (also begins 7th August. The Swiss Drum Corps are there. Hey, it’s your money)
• It’s scary Madonna time again (pray this is Photoshop)
• Prototype (frustrating bloody nonsense)
• Coca-Cola milkshake (no, we’ve not tried it, but…

Coke and Diet Coke.

Folded:

• You Have Been Watching (Charlie Brooker funnier than ever – back on blistering form)
• Comic Con (the geeky shall inherent the earth)
• Allison Janney (hilarious in Away We Go. Hilarious in everything really)
• 40 Years since the moon landings (because astronauts are still really cool)
• Polly Scattergood (Goldfrapp-lite, as recommended by our man Matthew Laidlow)

Creased:

• Next sale (everything may be half price but unless you’re a size XS or XXL there really isn’t much on offer)
• Nachos (crisps loaded with cheese and beef…and we wonder why we get stomach ache)
• Spoilers (especially those folk who can’t resist blabbing because they think it will make people like them more)
• People who let their dogs bark endlessly (though really…

Hunting high and low.

Folded:

* Legendary Usain Bolt on Top Gear (runs fast, drives fast, and all this on a diet of Chicken Nuggets. Fact)
* Music on Rabbit Chat and Date (okay so most of it’s keyboard crap, but one of the tracks does sound a bit like Tub Scene by David Holmes)
* Gormley’s Plinth (if only because it’s given Daily Mail readers something else to moan about other than immigrants)
* Ghostbusters The Video Game (surprisingly frustrating to play, but fun to sit and listen to)
* The Stateside Candy Co. (get fat on cool American sweets without ever having to go there)

Creased:

* Penultimate episode from season 3 of The Wire – BBC2 (the revealing scene between Stringer and Maury was well written, and it’s still a great show, but on the whole this episode was too far fetched and silly)
* Nicole Kidman (god knows what’s happened here)
* The Mini-Sneeze (you know that pointless little sneeze some people do? Sounds a bit like The Knights Who Say Nee from Monty Python? Yeah, well it’s really annoying)
* James Cracknell (seems like a real git on On Thin Ice, doesn’t he?)
* Silly horsey girl presenters on BBC Three (this channel’s idea of regional is Chelsea)

This week’s ups and downs.

Folded:

• Top 50 US All Stars with Idris Elba (Stringer Bell talks hip-hop in what must have been a seriously surreal few hours for The Wire fans)
• Wimbledon has finished (goodbye to the only sport in the world players fall asleep through. Still, kudos to Roger Federer and his gold lamé tracksuit)
• Best phishing scam ever (must have caught millions)
• Local gyms (full of middle aged Dorises, but at least no muscle men gazing lovingly at their own biceps)
• Spotting people on the Underground who don’t use an Oyster card (tourist – we’re going to pick your pocket now)

Creased:

• Funerals (or macabre pop concerts. Whatever)
• When Love Takes Over by David Guetta feat.…

Things we like and no like.

Folded:

• Public Enemies (it’s the real deal, if you can hack the grainy digi-video that is)
• First Class (always looks nice from the platform. Then again Lindsay Lohan looks nice from a distance too)
• Warrior’s Dance by The Prodigy (sounds like 808 State. Major compliment)
• Wimbledon roof (the BBC has dedicated 70% of their coverage to talking about it, so it’s nice that it works)
• Freeze Frame on DVD (a quite bizarre paranoid thriller from 2004, but Lee Evans is extraordinary in it)

Creased:

• Sex Panther (funny, but at £29.95 you may as well just buy a bottle of Brut and save yourself £29.90)
• Quiet coach (nothing quiet about six mobile phones going off…

Advantage and double fault.

Folded:

• Jason Manford (getting funnier all the time)
• Facebook status generator (finally something worth logging in for)
• James May At The Edge of Space (James May is the new Johnny Ball)
• John McEnroe (never shuts up, funniest commentator out there)
• Sunshine Cleaning (weird, but funny weird)

Creased:

• Paul Merton (seems to hate the idea of being funny these days. Maybe he should stick with the silent movie stars instead)
• ‘Fail’ (amazing how this word is now offered as an opinion. If you’re out of your teens for goodness sake find something more interesting to say)
• Roger Federer: the man with the gold bag (apparently he thinks that Wimbledon is a disco)
• Frijj Cookie Dough…

What’s hot and what’s not. That expression falls into the latter category.

Folded:

• James Bond Sundays (classic Bond movies being shown at sixty cinemas across the UK. That should shake your hangover off)
• Bizarre ER (the cartoons are funny)
• Wearing socks (just because it’s been a bit warmer lately doesn’t mean we need to dress like we’re on holiday in the Dordogne)
• Ray Mears (he likes his tea)
• Heather Graham (at 39 years old she is only one vital step away from being the hottest milf on the planet)

Creased:

• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (baffling and boring, and not in a Kafka way either)
• Birds twittering in the morning (at 3 am now?! Cursed summer)
• Miley…

Folded is sunny, Creased is cloudy.

Folded:

• Fiver (it’s got Californication)
• Sailor Jerry (rum you can drink without mixing? Pour us ten)
• The UK getting Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen three days before anyone else (so what if we don’t care? It’s the principle of the thing)
• RunPee.com (a website that tells you when to pee during cinema movies. Indispensable)
• The Janitorial (don’t get us wrong, hecklerspray is a great name, but The Janitorial is whole different kind of genius)

Creased:

• Five (it’s got Wordplay)
• Glitchy moments playing InFamous (Cole and his amazing adventures getting trapped inside the scenery)
• iPhones = fragile (they won’t work that well after falling onto tarmac and bouncing twice. Surprisingly)
• New Ford Capri (embarrassing, even before it’s called…