Pounds and pence.

Folded:

• Starting university (if you’re going you should have gone last week. Hope you’re enjoying yourselves)
• Sugababes split! (well one of them leaves and another joins, but it’s a start)
• Picnics (okay so it’s getting a bit cold now, but there is no better way to spend forty quid on food you have to make yourself. It’s rewarding or something)
• District 9 (just make sure you watch reading any reviews)
• White Lies (Rusko’s Euphoria Mix) by Mr Hudson (damn near irresistible beat)

Creased:

• The Love of Money: The Age of Risk (thanks to BBC 2’s programme last week for telling us how rich we used to be. Yep, it was champagne for lunch…

Bad times…

• ‘The Swizzle’ (put Road House on and remember Patrick Swayze in the worst at his best. “My way… or the highway”)
• Put this in front of any url (why? Because laughing at Kanye West is fun)
• Troy Kennedy Martin (died this week and he wrote the screenplay for The Italian Job, so that’s definitely earned him a mention)
• Keith Floyd (heart attack. Drink some wine and remember this guy too)
• Pirates of the Caribbean 4 actually sounds like it could be quite good (probably won’t be though)

• Kanye West (second Creased appearance this month for the mini-man even Diddy thinks is a pillock)
• Reece’s Pieces (like peanut M&M’s that have gone off)
• Serena Williams (nice controlled behaviour for the 28…

In and Out.

Folded:

• The Beatles: Rock Band (Your Social Life: Over)
• Mean Creek (on TV last week at stupid-o-clock. Thoughtful bully bashing drama with decent performances from its young cast)
• Trailer for Grand Theft Auto IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony is online (it’s very funny and Xbox 360 owners are very lucky)
• Big Brother has finished (and nearly for good, though we shudder to think what they might replace it with…)
• Terry Wogan (earned a rest and, god knows, some looser trousers)

Creased:

• Guitar Hero: Aerosmith (not even ironically enjoyable)
• Bankers trying for anonymity by no longer wearing pinstripe suits (reports they’ve taken to hiding under bowler hats instead are sadly tosh)
• Fancying Poison Ivy from Batman: Arkham Asylum (wrong on…

Naked and bare feet, naked and socks.

Folded:

• Batman: Arkham Asylum (most immersive game since GTA IV. If we did stars we’d give it five)
• Susan Sarandon for Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps (ni-ice)
• Buttery toilet rolls (screw recession, live like a Bright Young Thing – treat yo ass)
• Kirsten Dunst promotes this season’s radioactive bubblegum look (she should dress like this all the time)
• Christoph Waltz (see Inglourious Basterds and see what we mean)

Creased:

• E4 showing off about landing How I Met Your Mother (who hasn’t seen this show already? Still it’s probably the only U.S. comedy export the channel will show this year that hasn’t already been cancelled)
• Shia LaBeouf for Wall Street 2:…

Happy and sad.

Folded:

• Emeli Sande (criminally not in the video for Diamond Rings by Chipmunk despite doing all the singing. Buy her stuff anyway, it’s grrrr and soulful)
• Benefit Busters on Channel 4 (all hilarious but ‘in conversation with Emma’ was comedy moment of the year)
• Big Brother axed (don’t worry, we’ll find something else to write about all summer)
• Colin McRae: Dirt 2 (currently available for download on PS3 and Xbox 360. Shaping up as this year’s most fun racer)
• Sweet Dreams by Beyoncé (only comparatively Folded, but it’s still her best track for years)

Creased:

• Avatar teaser footage (take your joypads when the film hits cinemas in December)
• Empire magazine’s message board analysing said Avatar footage (at one point it had…

Thumbs up and down for this week.

Folded:

• Inglourious Basterds (nothing like you’re expecting)
• World’s Strongest Man on Fiver (ever seen a human being go pop before? Well, you might on here)
• Revisit Dance Wiv Me (a year on and the video is still hilarious: Dizzee Rascal at the school disco, Calvin Harris as the trendy sixth form tutor behind the bar. All that’s missing is Dizzee’s dad showing up and dragging him home for not loading the dishwasher)
• Linen (best fabric ever. You can sit around in it all day; it’s supposed to be creased)
• Rick Edwards (okay we got it wrong before, this guy is pretty funny)

Creased:

• Inglourious Basterds (nothing like…

Uppers and downers.

Folded:

• Sky HD (in full 1080p it really is the way forward. Even those programmes about massive  tractors moving prairie houses look good)
• Mesrine: Public Enemy Number One (gangster movie of the year)
• Desperate Romantics (like x-rated Carry On. High wenchy babe factor)
• Lynx Fever deodorant (smells better than sweat)
• The Kevin Bishop Show (Gok’s his ace card, but it’s a funny show all round)

Creased:

• Richard Hammond’s increasingly awful barnet (it’s not the first time we’ve mentioned this, but now he looks like Peter Stringfellow)
• Wii Sports Resort (just go outside and do something. Really, canoeing is even better when you actually get wet)
• Calzones (like you ever need more crust)
• Games shops (more expensive than practically anywhere…

This week’s half full and half empty.

Folded:

• Moon (strange Sam Rockwell, watchable as ever)
• Plaid shirts (classic style anonymity. Buy a padded one to look like a window cleaner)
• When Eight Bells Toll (the youngest you’ve ever seen Anthony Hopkins. If you’re off sick this is bound to be on Film4. It’ll really pass the time too)
• Omega Seamaster watch (you can’t afford one, but no-one will know when you stare through the jewellers’ window)
• Autumn video games (Modern Warfare 2, Splinter Cell: Conviction, Uncharted 2, Alpha Protocol, etc – prepare to have your pockets lightened)

Creased:

• Brüno (when cringeworthy stops being funny)
• Swine flu inevitability (had the bug yet? It’s getting to the ‘everyone knows…