There are three types of Terminator – creepy liquid metal ones, ones that are female for no reason and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And, obviously, the only ones that matter a jot are the Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminators, because they speak a base amount of Spanish and occasionally use coffins to deflect machinegun fire. So it was with a heavy heart that we learnt that Arnold Schwarzenegger was probably too busy being a high-falluting politician to appear in the upcoming Terminator 4.
But according to Terminator 4 director McG, Arnold Schwarzenegger will be appearing in the new movie – as a half-CGI, half-human hybrid Terminator, but only if ILM gets its act together. We don’t know what part CGI Arnold Schwarzenegger will play in Terminator 4 but he’s 61 now, so he’ll probably be seen in the Terminator reject warehouse because a) his skin is too saggy and b) he looks a bit mid-life crisisy in a leather jacket.
If you ask us, the new Terminator Salvation movie isn’t going to be much cop. We basically have two reasons for this.
Firstly, Terminator 4 can’t ever compete with the majesty that is Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Will Terminator 4 have a scene in it where a man gets killed because the urinal he’s using turns into a robot version of the lead singer from Garbage who rams a spike through his head? No. Case closed.
Secondly, there’s going to be no tension to the movie because Christian Bale is playing John Connor. And if Bale can treat his own clown mother in the way that he’s alleged to have done, then an endless army of indestructible murderous robots is going to be a titting cakewalk for him.
So let’s be serious – there’s only one thing that can save Terminator 4 from being dreadful, and that’s Arnold Schwarzenegger. If we can’t believe that super-advanced computers from the future decided to model their killing machines on the sag-faced Austrian bloke from Jingle All The Way, then the whole movie’s flawed from the outset, frankly.
But with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s screentime dedicated solely to rubbishy tourism adverts for California these days, his involvement in Terminator Salvation wasn’t looking promising.
So we should treat the declaration that Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to appear in Terminator 4 like the joyous news it is, even if he’s not really going to appear in Terminator 4 and any images of his face are going to look like they were crapped out by an Atari 2600. Totalfilm reports:
“We’re trying to synthesise a human character with a CGI character and that may or may not have something to do with the T800,” McG told us with a smile. The process isn’t without its problems, though. McG isn’t happy with ILM’s work so far… “At the moment it’s not good enough,” he said. “And we’re running out of time.”
It doesn’t look hopeful at the moment, does it? Still, there’s nothing like a tight deadline to sharpen focus, so we’re sure that Terminator 4 will have loads of CGI Arnold Schwarzeneggers coming out of its arse. And, if not, there’s always Plan B – a bunch of topless teenage boys roaming about a futuristic dystopia with black and white photocopies of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s face sellotaped around their heads.
Oh, like it’d make the film any worse.
craigterm says
you fucking prick your wrong its 2018 and arnold is not invented yet you sad fuck bag slaging off this film.
Stabby McGee says
No, craigterm. It’s 2008.
Sheri Fresonke Harper says
Cool article, I love the whole concept for the series, should be fun.
Jay says
I’d go for the version with the teenage boys, personally.
Julian Mentat says
Considering that Arnie arrived in the USA as an anonymous time traveling robot, and proceeded to break lots of laws, it’s ironic that he’s now getting tough on illegal immigration.
Lisa says
Without Arnie in T4 would be like playing cricket without the ball…
Daniel says
First i want to say something to Graigterm: Shut your foolish mouth!!
Terminator four without Arnold is no terminator four!!!
It is the same as george clooney would play the part of john Rambo.
The only reason why terminator 3 was not a complete disaster, was the appearence of arnold. In other ways: If terminator four has no Arnold, please do not make this movie then. It would be a complete rape to a great film series!!!!!!!!!!
Avin says
No Terminator without Arnold Schwarzenegger
anthonos says
terminator 4 without arnold would be shit!!!!!! end of story. mcgee would be a complete arsehole if he left arny out. + christian bale? what the fuck
Coca418 says
Yeah ok WTF! Christian bale should not be playing john conner!!! I think the original kid from t2 should have..(assuming he finally hit puberty and dropped that squeeky voice!) if arnold isn’t in it…I’ll be disappointed…but let’s face it…we all wanna see more robots! With or without Arnold!
Christopher says
I’d say the film turned out pretty awesome. Great surprises, great homages, great sequences.
If you’re looking for T2, then watch T2. If you want the next chapter of the saga, watch Salvation (stop calling it T4 – it puts the entire series to shame acknowledging T3 was
ever made.
Can’t wait to see the next few – it’s going to be cool to see the change from traditional weapons to lasers.
brenden says
termintor 4 wouldent be the same and i wouldent honestlely watch it in the theaters
why pay almost 10 bucks a person to watch a terminator movie when arnold swartenegger isnt in it
second of all you should lay off talking mess about arnold
im a bodybuilder too and i take that offensive
you know very well that arnold would proabily kill you foe saying
that about him
brenden says
thats what im saying
and besides not every bodybuilder is going to stay in shape
for there whole life
secnd of all this dude has the whole thing wrong
he is not invented yet and arnold mostlikely isnt going to have time for the role as the terminator
and also i take that offensive about him bragging very badly about how arnolds body has changed
im a bodybuilder and in my book thats disrespect
Ben says
Arnie is in it, but only as a cameo.
He attacks John Connor at the end and its great! He is CGI (but doesn’t look shit) and looks like Arnie from Terminator 1.
Great movie, and I loved Sam Worthington, He stole the show from Christan Bale!
banksterz says
i mthink the movie terminator salvation laeft out some things like how the hell did they get out of that cave? they made it look impossible to get out if your gonna continue a series you should at least continue from where you were left off also although arnold was a CGI at least they showed his face personally they should of made the guy who they turned into a terminator but kept his heart and brain arnie instead that would of made more sense why they had john connor send arnie back in T2 to protect him
vineeth says
IF THERE IS NO ARNOLD IN TERMINATOR U CAN NAME THE MOVIE AS HUMAN MACHINES ARNOLD IS REALLY A HUNK IN THE WORLD.