Anne Robinson Booby-Touch Moment Appalls Nation

British teatime is a sacred institution where everyone around the country stops what they're doing and eats a crumpet with their mother.

Teatime is a tradition to be protected. Specifically, it is a tradition to be protected from fuzzy-chopped ginger pensioners inviting men to grope at their breasts on TV like they're starring in some sort of horrendous paraphilic infantilism porno movie.

Readers, you aren't the only ones to be physically repulsed by the idea of that. Anne Robinson let some wine-tasting bloke grab her boobies on an episode of The Weakest Link recently, and 16 intrepid viewers phoned the BBC to complain. 16 doesn't sound like a lot, but it's thought that only 16 people got through the incident without going blind or mad or throwing themselves through the nearest window.

We have to admit that we were a little surprised to hear that The Weakest Link was still on TV, considering that the joke stopped being funny about five or six years ago. We get it - some people don't answer some easy questions, Anne Robinson is rude to them and then she screeches the word "goodbye" intermittently like a faulty smoke alarm until everyone goes home.

The Weakest Link has been going for years, surviving even Anne Robinson's own marriage, so it must be hard to keep it fresh. Even the idea of a Celebrity Weakest Link is getting stale now, so it's lucky that Anne Robinson has come up with a fresh new gimmick to reel the viewers back in.

And that gimmick is that people get to fondle Anne Robinson's 63-year-old boobs. And you have to watch. If you look away or vomit, you lose. It's a bit like a phone-in competition, except that you don't have to phone in and everybody loses.

Anne Robinson tried out this new booby-grab technique on a recent edition of The Weakest Link with wine expert Olly Smith, and 16 of you good people were repulsed enough to complain, as The Sun reports:

Olly… said: "If Anne was a wine, she'd be a smooth, full-bodied, expensive red." But TV’s mock-dominatrix responded: "I don't like being called full-bodied. I have spent a long time getting this figure. Are you saying I have huge breasts? She then, rather embarrassingly, added: "You need to feel them?" while gesturing towards her bosom. Olly said: "I would love to," placing his hands on the presenter's 63-year-old boobs before declaring, "They are absolutely fantastic, honestly! Touch my hands. These are amazing! I have touched Anne's boobs."

Incidentally, in the interests of transparency, Olly Smith is the man who - were we handed a baseball bat and a written promise that the police would turn a blind eye - would be first on our list of targets. We thought that before he described the act of cupping a ginger pensioner's tits as 'fantastic' but it goes double now.

Why, though? Why would Anne Robinson even do a thing like that? It's literally repulsive. The only logical explanation is that recovering alcoholic Anne Robinson figured out that Olly Smith's breath would be a bit boozy, and inviting him to squeeze her boobs was the only way to get him close enough to breathe in all his delicious booze-stink vapours to remind her of the good old days. We could be wrong, but we don't think we are.

Anyway, all the complaints seem to have fallen of deaf ears because the BBC has batted them away, describing the grope as "playful and lighthearted." So, now that it's clear this sort of thing is OK to show on gameshows, it means that Chris Tarrant can finally get around to introducing the long-awaited fourth Who Wants To Be A Millionaire lifeline - the I'll Tell You Answer If You Masturbate Me To Ejaculation In Front Of All These People Right Now lifeline.

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Anne Boobs With Flirty Feel - The Sun