Can it really be that time of year again? The ‘feel sorry for Anne Heche but not really’ time of year?
It must be, because Anne Heche is moping around court because her TV show got cancelled and now she can’t even pay her child support bills.
Seriously, is this how bad the credit crunch has got? It’s scary to think that not even a famous actress like Anne Heche can pay for the upbringing of her children because the measly $65,000 she gets for each of her tiny movie roles won’t cover the cost of keeping her two international homes, her cars and all her other various expenses. Maybe we should stage a telethon for her.
Remember that TV show Men In Trees? No, us neither. Shame it wasn’t better, really, because if it was then maybe Anne Heche wouldn’t have had to go to court just now and whine about being so poor.
You’ll know Anne Heche, of course, as the woman who regularly does things that make you feel a little bit sorry for her until you realise that actually she’s being a dick. And the terrible Psycho remake, probably. Last year Anne Heche made the news for losing custody of her child to her ex-husband Coley Laffoon. Sad, but only until you realise that her main argument for keeping custody was that her ex-husband wanked and played ping-pong a lot.
It’s a pattern that stretches way back, past the time that Anne Heche started a lesbian affair with Ellen DeGeneres and then broke it off so she could tour around America telling everyone how God had cured her of her homosexuality all the way back to when she invented the alter ego of hers who could talk to aliens. You know, the one who was Jesus’ half-sister.
Anyway, it’s time for the cycle to come around again, because Anne Heche has gone to court claiming that she can’t pay her child support bills because she’s been a tragic out of work actress since Men In Trees got cancelled. E! Online reports:
“Since January 18, 2008, I have been unemployed and had no income from unemployment except for one very short term contract for a movie role for which I received a total of $65,000, approximately the amount I received for one episode of Men in Trees [which has not been renewed for a third season],” Heche’s filing states. Among the expenditures listed are private school tuition for Homer, rent for her L.A. residence, the mortgage on her Vancouver abode and miscellaneous auto and personal expenses. Heche says the $240,000 she received in January from the sale of her and Laffoon’s Hollywood home is already long gone.
Anne Heche got paid $65,000 an episode for Men In Trees? Yeah, we remember that time we got paid a total of $2,275,000 just for going to work 38 times as well. We barely know how we managed to get by. We literally had to dig through other people’s rubbish because our servants kept serving us our whole roast suckling pig on cold plates. Cold plates! What did they think we were? Animals?
Anyway, you’ll be pleased to know that the court granted Anne Heche’s wish to suspend her child support payments for the month of July, potentially putting their son’s private school tuition in danger. That might be a good thing, though – after all, the less educated he is, the longer it’ll take him to realise that his mother seems to be a Curly Wurly short of the full selection pack.
Read more:
David Scarborough says
It’s such a hard life being a complete cock!
Jersey Dave says
I liked men in trees but it is sad to see her flipping out like that. Feel bad for the kid.