Amy Winehouse is officially the week’s most talked about celebrity. A fairly remarkable feat when you take into consideration that she hasn’t died, escaped death, or so much as flashed a tit to a camera.
Why are we interested in this girl? It surely hasn’t got anything to do with talent, has it?
At the beginning of the week, there was news of her being nominated for three Ivor Novello awards. A couple of days later she was named as the youth of the UK’s ‘Ultimate Heroine’, which coincided with rumours of her assaulting two members of the general public, for which she was arrested for last night and cautioned for today, as well as coming tenth in the Sunday Times Young Music Millionaires list.
And now, according to The Sun, she doesn’t want her husband to be released from jail, she does want a divorce, and she’s falling in love with her manager’s assistant.
No wonder she’s allegedly on crack.
A source tells the Sun:
“She has been fed up for ages and saying she wants to call it a day. All Blake does is scream and shout at her on the phone from prison and curse at her and his family blame her and criticise her. The trial is coming up and as it gets nearer and nearer the thought that he could come out has been on her mind – and it’s not what she wants any more.”
It has also been suggested that Amy has started a new relationship with 24-year-old Alex Haynes, her manager’s assistant. An insider revealed:
“Alex is a good boy. He doesn’t smoke or take drugs. He isn’t a big drinker. Amy has really fallen for him.”
Why? They’ve got nothing in common. If he really loves her, he’d better pick up a pipe quickly. And just what kind of soul-singer wants their husband to remain in jail?
Amy is, of course, famed for singing about the happenings of her life, like the time she sang about the time she was asked to go to rehab but really, really, really didn’t want to. How is she gonna make a song about this last week?
Any part-time poets out there fancy making an offering below?
Read More – Winehouse ‘prepared to divorce husband’ – Digital Spy
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
They may be letting my Blakey out
but I said no, no, no
I’m too busy trying to screw my manager’s assistant,
but he keeps screaming no, no, no
My new mask is getting fitted nice and tight
No one will have to be assaulted by my face, that’s quite the fright
eh, I tried
Sad, bad Amy was on the phone
Blake’s screaming and a shouting ‘cos he’s all alone
Good boy Alex says ‘Come along with me’
‘You’re the cutest junkie bird I ever did see’
Let’s Rock, everybody let’s Rock. . . . .
Sad, bad Amy was on the phone
Blake’s screaming and a shouting ‘cos he’s all alone
‘Good boy Alex says ‘Come along with me’
‘You’re the cutest junkie bird I ever did see
Let’s Rock, everybody let’s rock. . . .
I think I’ve developed a stutter. . . . holy shit these pills are good! Where am I ?
fantastic efforts lads. keep them coming,
third prize: unlimited free visits to hecklerspray
second prize: a cuddle from matthew laidlow
first prize: a dinner date with milton from office space.
I was born with a horse’s face
but I don’t like to get beaten.
I love a violent man
as best as I can
He gives me everything
I think I deserve
But when they sent him on down
I went out on the town
And tried everything
without reserve
I was born with a horse’s face
but I don’t want to be beaten