On the surface there might not seem to be a lot of difference between appearing on American Idol and waggling your naked penis in a homosexual's face for cash.
But that's where you're wrong, because… oh, actually, no. There really isn't a lot of difference between going on American Idol and the naked penis thing.
In fact, they're so similar that American Idol's head honcho has decided to allow David Hernandez – the American Idol contestant with a murky male stripper past – to stay on the show even though it's patently, patently wrong to do so. Surely American Idol contestants should start the slow depraved slide into humiliating public nudity after they've left the show, not before. Cosmic order like this should not be trifled with.
One of the problems with shows like American Idol – especially in the early stages – is that it's hard to tell the singers apart, which is why the singers who do the best on American Idol always have a gimmick to help them stand out. Taylor Hicks had his scary facial tics, Ruben Studdard had his super super obesity and now David Hernandez has his grubby past as a naked male stripper.
In recent weeks American Idol's David Hernandez had come to be best-known for being the boy with a voice pure enough to pierce Paula Abdul's heart. But a few years before that he was probably best known for being the nude boy with the waggly willy. Because yesterday it was announced that American Idol's David Hernandez used to be a male stripper who specialised in giving lapdances to men.
Nobody knew how this would affect David Hernandez's place on American Idol – in 2003 a contestant turned up on an adult website and was promptly dismissed – but now an American Idol bigwig has said that Hernandez's position is safe. The Boston Herald reports:
“American Idol” producer Ken Warwick came out yesterday to assure contestant David Hernandez that his not-so-secret past as a male stripper doesn’t mean a thang. “The truth is we’re never judgmental about what people do to earn a living,” he told TVGuide.com yesterday. “They’ve gotta put food in people’s mouths.” However, Warwick added, had Hernandez’s exotic past involved “some sort of heavy porn, then maybe we’d have to take action.”
What? David Hernandez had to put food in people's mouths? That's disgusting, we just thought he did the odd naked lapdance every now and then.
Still, we're not entirely convinced that American Idol has made the right decision regarding David Hernandez here. Not just because it seems as though this is all helping to set up the second American Idol sex tape of the year, but because it also sends the wrong message out to the kids.
What American Idol is effectively saying is that you ambitious youngsters will get a good grounding in the machinations of the showbusiness industry if you degrade yourself night after night in front of a small group of creepy rich men who'll slide a small amount of money under your thong if you thrust your genitals in their cackling faces. When in fact… no, actually, that is a pretty decent showbiz grounding after all. Carry on.
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trogers says
I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t equate Hicks bizarre facial contortions with some guy who made a living waving his whang in other people’s faces. That’s just nasty.
mst3kster says
American Idol is not going to kick him off the show when all three judges have penis envy.
However, he does give new meaning to the title of Pole Dancer.
gir says
“I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t equate Hicks bizarre facial contortions with some guy who made a living waving his whang in other people’s faces. That’s just nasty.”
Seriously, why would you degrade male strippers like that? They get enough degradation at work.
American Idol Videos | AmericanIdolVideo.info says
Idol watchers will probably never forget the moment in 2007 when finalists Jordin Sparks and Blake Lewis (each at separate times, of course) belted out the ballad which won American Idol’ s songwriting competition, a first for the show. This is another of those deceptive Idol ploys- rather like Idol Gives Back- where fans might say“ wow, FOX really does want to give people a chance and help others.” But let’ s get real. This TV network doesn’ t care about finding new talent. When it comes to American Idol , it’ …