Remember how Boy George once cameoed on The A-Team, a show about men jailed for a crime they didn’t commit?
Well now Boy George has more in common with them than ever. Because he too has been jailed for a crime that… oh no, wait, Boy George did chain that Norwegian prostitute up and threaten to kill him, didn’t he? In that case, ignore everything we just said.
Boy George has been sentenced to 15 month in jail for falsely imprisoning a manwhore. Logic states that he’ll be out in seven for good behaviour, but reality states that he probably won’t because he’s a dickhead.
When Boy George wrote Do You Really Want To Hurt Me, there’s a fairly solid chance that he wasn’t picturing a scenario in which a tattooed serial arsonist has got him pinned to the inside of a prison cell by his throat and is waving a rudimentary stabbing device close to his eye because of his reputation as a homosexual.
Which is ironic, really, since that’s probably how Boy George is going to be spending the next 15 months of his life. You see, Boy George has just been sentenced to 15 months in jail for the crime of a male Norwegian prostitute to a wall against his will and loudly threatened to kill him that he was found guilty of last month. The Guardian reports:
Boy George was today sentenced to 15 months in jail for falsely imprisoning a male escort by handcuffing him to a wall and beating him with a metal chain. Passing sentence at Snaresbrook crown court, east London, Judge David Radford said the singer’s offence was “so serious that only an immediate sentence of imprisonment can be justified”.
Of course, at the time Boy George believed that he was well within his rights to chain a Norwegian manwhore to his wall, threaten to kill and then beat him with a chain when he tried to escape, because he honestly believed that the prostitute looked at his computer funny or something – an accusation that we also thought could be punishable by chaining and beating and death threats. Goes to show what we know, huh?
As the judge pointed out in his sentencing, this jail term will come at a considerable cost to Boy George. There’s a very strong chance he’ll never be able to perform in America or Japan again now, which is a double shame, because American and Japanese male prostitutes are renowned for their tenacity and endurance when it comes to being chained to a wall by former popstars who now closely resemble extraordinarily dour potatoes.
Since he was immediately sent to prison, Boy George didn’t get to pass comment on his sentence today, but last month he did say the following to gig-goers at a show in London:
“I like to think you can say a lot by saying nothing. I’ll just say this: none of us are defined by our mistakes.”
Which is dignified and poetic and everything but, if you can say a lot by saying nothing, you can probably say even more by screaming “Fucking whore! Now you’re going to get what you deserve!” into the face of a naked, petrified Scandinavian who you’ve chained to your wall against his will. And that’s what’s important.
Julian Mentat says
I would kill them and bury the body in concrete. But where will you find a working construction site these days?