Remember when that male prostitute said Boy George chained him to a wall, hit him and threatened to kill him?
Well, turns out it’s true. Partially – Boy George has admitted that he did handcuff Audun Carlsen up, and that he did hit him a bit, but only consensually. But Boy George swears that he wasn’t going to kill him, because a dead manwhore wouldn’t be great for his career.
Remember, Boy George once painted his jaw black and pretended to be David Bowie on Celebrity Stars In Their Eyes, so he obviously knows a great career move when he sees one.
You can tell that Christmas is coming. There’s a chill in the air, a sense of breathless anticipation in everyone you meet, and also Boy George has managed to cartwheel gormlessly into another fat crapload of trouble.
It’s becoming a tradition, you see – Christmas 2006 was when Boy George went to court because a) he wanted to show off the new Fat Bald Goth look he was cultivating and b) he’d been arrested for filling his house with cocaine or something.
Then Christmas 2007 was when Boy George got arrested for allegedly falsely imprisoning a Norwegian male prostitute by handcuffing him to a wall, beating him up with a chain and threatening to kill him and, now it’s coming up to Christmas 2008, it must be time for Boy George to go to court for that very thing.
So he has. And in a shocking display of honesty, Boy George has admitted that he did chain his Norwegian manwhore up to a wall in his house. But only because Boy George wanted to make a series of pornographic photographs with him and then got a bit paranoid because he thought the manwhore was stealing the photos from his computer. Reuters reports:
Singer Boy George admitted to police that he handcuffed a male escort to his bed and threatened him, but was not going to kill him, a court heard on Monday at his trial on false imprisonment charges. “I absolutely admit I had him in the handcuffs, so he wouldn’t go anywhere while I checked the computer. I certainly wasn’t going to kill him, that’s hardly going to do my career any good is it?” he told police.
So let’s get this straight – Boy George is in court because he didn’t want a glitter-covered Norwegian prostitute to make pornographic photos of Boy George public? And he might go to prison for this? This is all wrong – Boy George should be freed immediately. Freed and given the keys to the city. And a castle made of solid gold to live in.
Seriously – if Boy George hadn’t chained Audun Carlsen up and threatened him like he supposedly did, then do you know what we’d be looking at right now? Pictures of a fat bald goth who looks like he does a bit of bricklaying on the side standing around licking his lips with a funny little erection wedged between his fat little thighs, that’s what.
No, by making sure that those photos stayed private, Boy George has saved us all from blindness or madness or both, and we should all shake him firmly by the hand for that.
Well, OK, maybe not literally shake him by the hand. Not unless we want to catch Norwegian hand-syphilis or whatever it is that these manwhores pass about. But, you know, we can bump elbows with him or something.
magnetite says
Maybe when Boy George asked if he was a good Norwegian manwhore, he shouldn’t have replied “Good? I can suck pictures out of a computer, mate.” In a Norwegian accent.
Johnny says
The pictures that George accused the escort of stealing from his computer were erotic naked pictures of the escort which George has taken as his secondary career as a photographer, not of George. Check your facts.