50 Cent has responded to Alicia Keys’ comments about Gangsta Rap being ‘a government ploy to convince black people to kill each other’ in the only way he knows how – via the art of inarticulate, meat-headed ramblings that miss the point entirely.
Last week we reported that Alicia told Blender magazine the murders of 2Pac and Biggie were a government conspiracy, and that all Gangsta’ rappers are basically being taken for a ride – the idiots.
Since then, Alicia Keys has issued a statement saying that her comments were “misrepresented“, but Blender spokeswoman Kate Cafaro told the Associated Press on Tuesday that “We stand by our story”.
Upon reading this it appears 50 Cent’s brain started hurting. He told The Showbuzz:
“I don’t like Alicia Keys no more…the same reason why I said that I don’t like Oprah Winfrey. I’m prejudice(d). I don’t like people who don’t like me.”
That’s quite awkward, because hecklerspray don’t like people who don’t like hecklerspray neither, and as neither we nor 50 Cent has made an official statement as to whether we like the other, we’re stuck in one hell of an apathetic quandary right here
And if there’s one thing we hates more than folk who don’t like hecklerspray, it’s non-committal, fence-sitting folk who couldn’t care either way. So, bearing that in mind, we’d like to issue the following statement:
“Hecklerspray thinks that 50 Cent represents pretty much everything that is wrong with modern society. He is an anti-intellectual, dollar-driven dullard who unfortunately – when attempting to ‘Get Rich or Die Tryin’ – got rich.”
There we go – the coast is clear. We don’t like him, ergo he don’t like us. We can now move on with the story, safe in the knowledge that this’ll be about as unbiased an article as your average BNP immigration brochure.
The Neanderthal continued:
“If you don’t like the content that I write because of my experiences; I am being who I am when I am writing it. I fall into that ‘label’ as far as you considering artists creating ‘Gangsta music,’ we fall into that. If she don’t like that, (then) I don’t like that classical music shit she be doing. At some point she’s playing some shit that don’t relate to me. We listen to it and try to figure out why people actually enjoy it. I am trying to enjoy it. That statement changes my perception of Alicia Keys totally. But the magazine is standing behind it, which means they probably have a tape of her in conversation saying it. It’s just not really a bright comment anyway.”
That’s right, Fiddy, it isn’t a very bright statement at all, but ‘I am being who I am when I am writing it‘ isn’t particularly Einsteinian itself, is it? There’s more:
“I think hip-hop is so competitive. I don’t think that a lot of people who judge hip-hop actually enjoy it as an art form. They aren’t into it enough to understand what they are listening to and they just hear disrespectful lyrics going back and forth and just say ‘oh they’re fighting’ … so it’s got to be negative if it’s fighting. To just make reference to what hip-hop was from the very beginning was just two artists battling. Battling turned into beefing after Biggie and Tupac passed because unfortunately that turned into real incidents in the street.”
Ah yes, we all remember that fateful day when battling turned into beefing, don’t we ladies and gentleman? It was the day that one word was changed in order to lessen the likelihood of Gangsta rappers being gunned down in the street.
But today hecklerspray is reversing all that. We don’t beef, we battle – so watch your back Curtis, cos’ we love the idea of shutting you up once and for all far. Far more than your average fat kid loves cake.
Maybe Alicia was onto something?
J says
With a name like Paul Sorrenti, you dont really stand a chance do you? Did even read the quote or just like to jump on the band-wagon of “rapper bashing” , recently coming from white trash, middle class, conservative idiots like you. Let me reason with you here, lets say blogging or gossiping is considered anti-social(which it is in some communities), but you are regular blogger and lets say a “coporate journalist” says something bad about blogging, would’nt defend your artform. You think he gives a damn what you think? Think again. Plus don’t expect me on your site no more. Because thats not how you deliver a news or what-ever, your opinion won’t let your readers like you or your site, but then again blogging is not real journalism is it? Damn! I am a fan of both Artist involved and I disagree with both of them on some level.
amcguire says
My goodness!…LOL! This was some funny stuff. Well written.
What Fiddy doesn’t understand, is that Alicia in her own backwards, ridculous way was actually DEFENDING gangsta’ rap. I guess he’s too thick headed to get that.
Paul Sorrenti says
A man called ‘J’ has some balls taking the piss out of my name. but you’re right, it is a silly name, i certainly would never take me seriously, that’d be a foolish mistake. and i aint rapper bashing, i’m 50 cent bashing, i have loads of rapper friends, like Chali 2na, Roots Manuva and Pato Banton – see? how can i be a rapper basher? and you can say all you want about the ‘art’ of blogging, whatever that is, i literally couldn’t give less of a shit. and if it’s anti-social then fucking good!! the worlds far too social these days anyway. now be gone with you and your little mind.
flierpa says
i think j decided that he doesn’t like hecklerspray anymore. you won’t see him again. i, for one, am utterly devasted.
Zander says
Ummmm J, you lost everyone when you stated that you are a fan of both artists. And your grammar & puctuation blow harder than Alicia going down on Usher backstage.
IronEddie says
LOL
That illiterate thickheaded gorilla called her music classical!!!!!!!! A classic comment.
Ya know wot i’z be sayin????? :D
faty says
aaaaah!!!!First of all, Alicia doesn’t play classical music but soul and R&B, he is kind of idiot!!! Beside 50 cent is a crap! He doesn’ t even think if her sentences have been misrpresented!!! furthermore Alcia loves rap!!! She have been listening rappers in her former town (Harlem) so they can shet up (I love you Alicia, your fan from French!!!)
LANA says
50 cent is so dumb! First of all he didn’t understand what Alicia supposedly said. If he did he would understand she was in a way defending it. Second of all being a celebrity himself he should know interviewers and such twist words to sell a story. And lastly he just sounded over all dumb.
Stabby McGee says
I believe Paul has discovered the secret to attracting a deluge of website hits: poor title grammar!
Paul Sorrenti says
shhh, stabby! holy moly or trevor mcdonald could be reading this, don’t give away all my secrets!
shawna says
lol@your released statement
you are getting all the haters today
Paul Sorrenti says
i’d just like to point out – for the record – that i think ironeddie is a twat. that is all.
IronEddie says
I’m the leader of twats. :p
speedracer says
What a punk! And I mean a natural sorry PUNK!
IronEddie says
Bug off you shitheads. I’ll comment however the fuck I want.
Stabby McGee says
Living up to your reputation there, Eddie. Bravo!
IronEddie says
It’s nice to see how well you treat your visitors. *rolls eyes*
Luvmonie says
50 cent is ignorant
Gemma Riley says
J’s a muppet. Real lovers of hip hop hate 50 Cent because he has all the lyrical intelligence of a spanner. I like a lot of hip-hop and I didn’t read this article to be rap bashing in general.