The World of teeth snappingly annoying pop has been dealt a major blow today as rumours of the World’s most talented lesbian, Justin Bieber, has fathered a child with a fan. And not just any fan, but an older fan, turning her into an immediate MBLF (Mother Bieb’d Love Fuffing).
Obviously these are just rumours and we don’t want to see any forensic evidence appertaining to this case for fear of losing our Frosties and coffee this early in the morning. And getting sued rather quickly.
Mariah Yeater is the woman who popped the Bieb’s cherry and instantly became the figure of teen hate in six minutes of fumbled thrusting and reciting of his favourite songs to reach climax. If Selena Gomez was worried about getting hate mail because she was kissing Little Bieber, then she can take herself off for a celebratory colonic that someone else is taking her place.