You think you have someone pinned for who they are and what they’re like, then they have to bloody well go and mix everything up by going and doing something stupid.
Which is exactly what ol’ D-O-double G Snoop Dogg has gone and done. Or, more accurately – has gone and not done.
It’s a given that normally you can rely on the Dizzle to carry a baton through customs, get arrested for carrying a gun and some naughty substances around in his car or simply to get banned from a country.
But oh no, not this time. He has to go and be all ‘not arrested’ and stuff.
Maybe Snoop really has decided that he should have a cleaner image than that he has portrayed for so many years. His apparent partnership with David Beckham was intended to save the universe, after all. The universe in California, at least. Through the power of football.
Hmm. At least he’s trying, eh?
As if to add credibility to his claims that he is a changed man, Snoop Dogg was recently not arrested – you read that right, he was absolutely not arrested – on drug possession charges. While out on tour with his posse, Snoop’s tour bus was pulled over by the federals for having an expired registration sticker. What followed was nothing short of a miracle.
Rather than, as we would expect, the police entering the vehicle, having a slight altercation, then leaving with the Doggyizzleshizzle in handcuffs, they left with two completely different people. Checks were made and it turned out that neither of them were Snoop in disguise – in fact, neither of them even had names that sounded like Snoop.
While it was adjudged to be a mistake initially, it soon transpired that the police involved in the arrests had not made a mistake, and for probably the first time in his life Snoop Dogg had managed to escape arrest through the benefit of not having committed any crime.
Wonders in this world never cease.
No, far from the story that has been written approximately once every week and a half for the last 20 years – ‘Snoop Dogg Arrested For [inset crime here]’ – Ethan Calhoun and Kevin Barkey are the names on the lips of the police and all reporters. Unfortunately, no one knows who they actually are, bar their names and the fact that they were part of Snoop’s posse. As a result, all headlines still refer to Snoop Dogg‘s involvement.
It’s a funny old world.
Hopefully this slight deviation won’t become common practice for the lanky raptist (that’s ‘rap artist’, for those wondering) and he can soon return to his usual ways of doing something stupid, getting arrested, saying ‘izzle’ on the end of words in a irritating fashion, doing another stupid thing, getting arrested again and so on and so forth. Otherwise we’re going to have to start getting used to him being an ‘innocent bystander’.
Frankly, that just doesn’t fit.