Ferris Bueller, the 80s wild child played by Matthew Broderick, only had one problem in his annoyingly perfect life, the relentless Dean of Students at his High School, Ed Rooney.
Well, Ferris?s days of running from Mr. Rooney can finally be put behind him after 14 long years as actor Jeffrey Jones was sentenced to 250 hours community service and 3 years probation for failing to update his details on the sex offenders register.
For those of you who don't know, Mr. Rooney turned out to be a bit of a nonce, which added a really creepy subtext to the scenes in which Rooney tries hunting down Ferris Bueller in a bid to prove that he's ditching school. Obviously Jeffrey Jones just wanted to spend a hot and sweaty summer locked in a room with a young Matthew Broderick.
Jones, who's creepy smile and ginger moustache just scream paedo, pleaded guilty to failing to update his registry information, which he was required to do after pleading no contest to a whole host of creepy, child porn related charges in 2003.
We here at Hecklerspray don't know exactly what his community service will entail, but we do like to speculate. After playing Mr. Rooney, Jones has all the relevant experience to actually become a real life truancy officer, plus with his love of teenage boys he'd be even keener to track them down. It would be like Dog the Bounty Hunter, only 10 times more disturbing, which takes some doing.
One thing is certain, this latest indiscretion will put a spanner in the works of the Ferris Bueller sequel. Ferris and Cameron are probably too old for Rooney now anyway. Plus Sloane would probably be played by Sarah Jessica Parker and no one wants to see that.
Tom J says
Oh wow, is it wrong that I immediately recognise that guy as the scientist from the 1986 movie version of “Howard the Duck”? It’s been over 20 years since I saw it, too. That’s a bit unsettling to be honest.
Si says
It gives his line “look what uncle Ed’s got for you, you little fucker” a sinister twist
Keith Richard Radford Jr says
it’s your addiction not mine
No one has to agree too nor except/condone/support your addiction too unjust/illegal/federally unsound/unsustainable laws that has no basses in truth or reality. Delusional thinking does not make other people sex addicts & the people that are sexually disturbed, about people with problems with sex like sterility/multi gender/predigests leading to false arrests/charges. We can not support your addiction to inhuman punishments & torture through state sponsored terrorism. The use of Bin Laden tapes to sway political votes is no different than this story. More too come, yes this entire thing will come around and take a bite of everyone that supports these laws. I was on the street and waiting for a bus when two squad cars pulled up and sergeant CARR drove up too me from the Atascadero Police Department and told me in a sinister voice “register” I said what are you talking about? With no request for ID he says you got to register looking for a violent response. I kept my cool and told him I will be back, and shove this whole thing right up your ass sir. Rick’s Cafe, in the mythical saloon from the 1942 film “Casablanca” had people trying to leave the country too get away from bad laws but not cameras on every street corner and police accosting citizens without warrant or provocation’s, so wait till these laws built on lies arrest you for missing an oil change. How much must someone endure when an officer that has never been met before can pull up and start a fight? How much money is this guy getting from people to act like this on the street? The other officer was quite and reserved watching the whole thing. He should have been the sergeant and not this immature strange man out for a fight on the street he did not get in Atascadero California Tuesday September 28, 2010 at a bus stop waiting for a bus. How long will it be before your forced laws will just cause the officers to kill someone without more than a possible description of someone and with our record of record keeping our lies personified by poor data entry will start the biggest run of blood on our streets over touching someone, sorry but your sick and disgusting un~thought~out proposal lacks worth and is an abomination in any country in the world. Sex has become something police can harass someone on the street about even if that sex was over twenty five years ago and the person served time the police can send Carr’s out to engage in force action at a bus stop. This constitutes harassment and force as a formal complaint against the Atascadero Police Department for illegal use of force and nobody cares so what’s next, like Chicago in the 30’s when they gun people down on street corners waiting for buses? Isn’t that what got prohibition shut down?
Here a duly apponted officer of the law has done nothing less than a terror attack, and I will never be able to get this image and event out of my mind.