Some would say that Mickey Rourke’s face looks like an uncooked hamburger patty that’s been trampled by a marching band.
But not us. We’d say that Mickey Rourke’s face doesn’t look enough like an uncooked hamburger patty that’s been trampled by a marching band. And we think Mickey Rourke agrees with us.
Why? Because it’s been hinted that Mickey Rourke – from The Wrestler, remember – will wrestle Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania in April. One-sided? Relax! After Wrestlemania there’s going to be a rematch to see who can sob the most incoherently on a beach, a bout that Rourke will easily win.
You know what there’s not enough of? Actors promoting their work by taking on the real-life job of the characters they play. It’d be great – George Clooney could market his return to ER by literally slicing a man open and fumbling around inside his guts until he yanks out what he assumes is a spleen, while Julia Roberts could have easily improved her Oscar chances for Pretty Woman by literally having grubby, meaningless sex with a string of lonely men for cash.
No, of course we’re just joking. Only an idiot would take on a job that they’ve only really done before for the sake of a movie. It’s probably the stupidest thing that anyone could ever do. It’s not just stupid, but arrogant too. So it’s a good job that actors aren’t either stupid or arrogant, isn’t it? Oh, hang on a minute…
We forgot about Mickey Rourke. The Wrestler has been good to Mickey Rourke – it’s established his position as an acting behemoth, plus it’s allowed him to take on other challenges as varied as being in Iron Man 2 and pleading with the public to smash off their pet’s testicles with a hammer. Or something.
And because of this, Mickey Rourke wants to give something back to the people that inspired his character in The Wrestler – the old, beaten-down, injury-ravaged former wrestlers who are all guaranteed to die tragically young in poverty-stricken agony. And it looks like Mickey Rourke is going to accomplish that by becoming one of them himself.
That’s right, as E! Online reports, Mickey Rourke is going to Wrestlemania:
“The nicest thing has been the whole wrestling community embracing us. The movie was about their world and so I think maybe I’m gonna do Wrestlemania in Houston. I had some dialogue with Vince McMahon and Ric Flair, Roddy Piper and all the rest of them and they’ve been really supportive… Chris Jericho, you better get in shape, because I’m coming after your ass.”
It might seem a little strange at first – The Wrestler carries an unsubtle anti-wrestling sentiment at times, so Mickey Rourke promoting it by appearing at Wrestlemania is a little like Reese Witherspoon promoting Rendition by kidnapping a stranger, flying him to Egypt and then booting him in the balls for eight months until he confesses to a crime he didn’t do.
But you know what? Good for Mickey Rourke. If he thinks his body is up to the rigours of professional wrestling, then all the best to him. And if worst comes to worst, it might take a doctor up to three minutes to remould his face. His skin is like Play-Doh, we heard.
magnetite says
I’m old enough to remember Kendo Nagasaki hypnotising one of Big Daddy
Gilbert Wham says
Ah, saturday morning wrestling. I nearly killed my little brother performing a pile driver on him. Good times, good times…