When hecklerspray saw 30 Days Of Night last year, we had to admit that we found it a little creepy.
After all, the idea of being surrounded by rat-faced violent sociopaths for an entire month is something that should send a shiver down the spine of any right-thinking human being. Unless, of course, you live anywhere near Wigan, in which case that's just business as usual all year round.
Still – there's actually one thing that unsettles us more than spending 30 days in the company of bloodsucking vampires, and that's spending 30 days in the company of 'unique' pop star Michael Jackson. Note: this fear isn't particularly based on any of his face-falling-apart, dangling-babies-over-balconies habits, but more to do with the fact that he might try singing Heal The World at us over and over again.
You've gotta feel sorry, then, for the O2 Arena. For it's looking very likely that Jacko is all set to fly over to the UK and perform a 30 day stint. A bit like Prince did, except that everyone going to see him only really paid attention to the popular eighties stuff and politely ignored the rest.
Hang on…
Anyway. The rumours stem from the News of The World, which also reports that Jackson will be set to pocket a million pounds a night from this little shebang, leaving him with 30 million smackers with which to engage in all sorts of tree-climbing, closing-down-supermarkets-so-that-just-he-can-use-them, fairground-building antics. Or maybe just to help pay off those pesky legal fees that he's been feverishly collecting like Panini stickers over the years.
Chances are also big that these upcoming shows could see a big guest-star turnout. Jackson's latest album – eagerly awaited by someone, somewhere, apparently – features a multitude of collaborators including Black Eyed Peas bloke Will.i.am and mumbling 'rapper' 50 Cent. We're sure there'll be lots of other surprises too – maybe a cameo stage spot from a local children's choir.
Actually… nah. That'd probably be a bad idea. Only because the two forms of music being expressed by the respective artists may prove incompatible. And no other reason. Obviously.
Did we say that loud enough? Obviously.
Read More:
travis says
this website is ridiculous. i dont know if you are attempting to be comical but i have missed the humor. Michael Jackson is not some freakish alien nut, and if you actually did your research you would see that. Grow up and learn some respect for a legend in the music industry. Because as you sit here in your basement writing negative posts about a man you have never met,that man is on his way to making his musical comeback. I’ll see you at his concert….
Joke Police says
Yes, do some research and you will learn that 47 years ago Michael Jackson had some songs and they were good and this means you can never do a jokey story about him, ever, or I’ll tell on you.
I don’t know whether it’s something about the time of year, or maybe I’m just reading the comments more these days, but there seems to be an awful lot of abuse around at the moment. My favourite was the one who accused the site of not reporting enough news-worthy stuff and called for more coverage of, like, war and stuff.
Drake says
this article is bullshit. I assume you pulled out from your pillow & re read all the tabloids you used to wipe your shit down the last 10 years before writting this.
Gilbert Wham says
Errrr, hang on a minute. “Michael Jackson is not some freakish alien nut” Yes. Yes he is. I was going to ask; whilst you will no doubt be going to said event, would you be going thirty times? Depressingly, the answer is probably yes, isn’t it?
Adam Gade says
So travis, is sucking Michael Jackson’s e-dick a 24/7 job? And why would you see the author at the concert, seeing as how he probably isn’t a fan and all?
C J Davies says
”I assume you pulled out from your pillow …”
That pillow loves it, the dirty little minx.
Brad says
meh. Michaels DA KING. Period.
Chello says
There is no logic behind this article more than to demonstrate the authors ignorants and hate. MJ has always proven such misconstrued assumptions wrong. Michael is at his best when he is on stage and at present he has no direct competition in that respect. His last tour (1997) netted in millions and attracted more than 4,5million people, which still stands to be a record for international dates outside of the states. MJ has had a profound impact on a wide range of music forms and has perfected the art of fussion with alternative styles, hence his preference for collaborations since Off-Wall. Michael needs to prove nothing as he has achieved it all! As for his finances, this is clearly a private matter, but just to shed some light on you bro; you can be in debt for 300 million only if you have 300 million. Michael is the most achieved and successful entertainer in history (Guiness Book of World Records 2006). His co-ownership of Sony/ATV, which is currently worth between 4 & 5 billion should say it all. Its a fortunate thing that with or without this article MJ will always be MJ – the King of Pop, Rock & R&B!
gir says
When attempting to criticize the author’s ignorance, hecklerspray comment posters would do well to remember to correctly spell the word “ignorance”.
This seemingly obvious reminder has been a public service announcement, brought to you by MICHAEL JACKSON IS A CHILD MOLESTING WHACKJOB WHO DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU DEFEND HIM ON SATIRICAL WEBSITES, NUMBNUTS.