It’s painfully obvious to the entire world that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are together – but how together are they?
Really together. It looks like Kristen Stewart is so hopelessly in love with Robert Pattinson that she attended the premiere of his new film Remember Me. Just let that statement sink in – Kristen Stewart loves Robert Pattinson so much that she’s willing to sit all the way through one of his boring films from beginning to end, without leaving or deliberately falling asleep or picking at her fingernails and sighing loudly every time a character says something fatuous.
So congratulations Kristen Stewart. You love Robert Pattinson more than we do. Quite a lot more than we do. You sicko.
There’s not a lot of interest in Robert Pattinson’s new film Remember Me. Robert Pattinson fans will be disappointed because at no point does he take his shirt off and make his nipples go all sparkly. Lost fans will be disappointed because at no point will co-star Emilie De Ravin drag out her nightmarish button-eyed animal skull baby and try to lactate into its bony jaw. And everyone else will be disappointed because it looks like a fat sack of cobblers.
But there’s one thing that’ll get the public interested in Remember Me, and that’s Robert Pattinson’s relationship with Kristen Stewart. Hinted at for months, the budding romance between the pair of them was thrown into the open last weekend when Robert Pattinson shunned George Lamb to go and be with Kristen Stewart at the Baftas.
And now it’s time for them to make things a little more public – not because Robert Pattinson has realised that hanging out with the bored-looking girl from that vampire nonsense is the only way that he’s ever going to get anyone to notice his stupid new film, but because they’re totally more in love than any two people have ever been in all of history. Although probably the other reason a bit as well. E! Online reports:
Walking the red carpet for Remember Me, Robert Pattinson’s new film, Kristen Stewart surprised even longtime Robsten watchers by showing up to support the film. And looking lovely in leather, as well. Is the beginning of something a little more public for the rumored romancers? (Or maybe she just wanted to check out the kissing scenes costar Emilie de Ravin has?been talking about.)
If our theory is true, and Robert Pattinson is exploiting Kristen Stewart to get people interested in Remember Me, it’s certainly worked. But all this attention has come at a cost. First Kristen Stewart turns up on the red carpet for Robert Pattinson, then Robert Pattinson will have to return the favour for Kristen Stewart’s new film. Then the public will start to get a bit bored of that, so Robert Pattinson will have to kiss Kristen Stewart on the red carpet for his next film to keep people interested, and it’ll continue to escalate from there.
The end result of this, we’ve calculated, is that one day Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart will have to take turns bumming a goat on the red carpet just so that people will take their photo. And is that really what anybody wants? Don’t answer that, Twilight fans. You lot are perverts.
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David Scarborough says
I imagine De Ravin got more of a emotional response from the Goatskull Baby than she ever did looking into Patt’s cold dead eyes.
Anne says
Not a lot of interest, if you say so… but it has great buzz, the first reviews are glowing.
As for the PR thing – yes, they’re definitely trying to get the Twihards interested by bringing KStew over. Agreed.
sherry moody says
WOW. Someone is jelous. I didn’t know what I was in for when I went to your site. That won’t happen again.
Alice says
Well this is disappointing and vitriolic. I doubt you have seen the movie and if you did have no heart. It’s really ugly to hate on someone merely because they have success. Rob Pattinson has not sold his soul to the devil for this fame it fell in his lap and you are embarrassing yourself in public with your hate campaign.
Dave says
Kristen looks BEAUTIFUL!!
I dont care Rob movie!!!
Kasey says
WOW. hahahah bitch.
Girl4Jesus says
Oh well we’ll just listen to your opinion then sherry! No I don’t think the author is jealous, in fact the whole point of HecklersPray is – as your humble girl sees it;-) – to lighten the world about Tw!l!ight, P@tterson and all the other S@t@nic garbage Hollywood (not Holywood) feeds you.
Ignore the dark, turn to the light, and feed upon the Bible (Truth).
Corinthians 23:15.
Love, peace, and go Redbirds (yay!),
G4J.
twilight news says
Yea , I too agree with the comment of alice.
Sprite says
well if their tactic is to exploit each other it isn’t working. their movies that aren’t twilight related fail at the box office. and that wouldn’t be a big deal if they were good and were criticaly acclaimed, but no they aren’t and i think it’s because people can only watch robert be “brooding” for so long and really how long can you sit and watch kristen’s facial ticks