It wasn’t so long ago that some guy hacked into Hanna Montana’s Gmail account, stole some pictures of her soaking wet, and forced the world to look at them while they surfed the net at work and what-not.
Such massive overexposure to a pretty much genderless, pre-pubescent body made everybody outside of the Glitter household puke at the same time. This vomit eventually trickled into the Atlantic, and then floated north until its acidic content had melted all the ice caps, robbing millions of polar bears of their natural hunting grounds, and covering their edible penguins in a filthy, orange coat of watery slime.
Why PETA hasn’t raised more of a stink about this we’ll never know.
Anyway – the guy that did the hacking, well he’d brag online about how the police would never find him because he moved too often. But now he’s been raided by the FBI. We thought this might happen ever since we heard Cyrus would be playing the part of J Edgar Hoover in a sort of West Wing prequel.
What we’re saying is she’s probably well connected.
Miley Cyrus‘ G rating was officially ripped from her the moment some 19-year-old guy guessed her email password and used it to obtain pictures of her apparently three-year-old body posed this way and that. He tried selling these pictures, but celebrity news outlets on the up and up weren’t interested in paying for pictures obtained so illegally. That’s why the guy eventually posted them for free.
The moment this happened a cell in Guantanamo got swept out, its weird brown cake-like substance got chiseled off the toilet, and its bed got draped in surprisingly comfortable new linens. That’s because although he didn’t know it – the Miley-hacker made himself the subject of thousands of FBI round table discussions.
Wired has the down low:
“A 19-year-old hacker who published provocative photos of teen queen Miley Cyrus earlier this year was raided by the FBI Monday morning in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. The hacker, Josh Holly, repeatedly bragged online about breaking into the Disney star’s e-mail account and stealing her photos. He also gave interviews to bloggers and others and boasted that authorities would never find him because he moved so often…
“When agents finally left his apartment after conducting an extensive search, they had three computers and Holly’s phone, among other things.”
While under a heavy interrogation, Holly also confessed to purple-nurpling Raven Symone, dwarf tossing Zack & Cody, and smearing baby wasp eggs all over the insides of Mickey Mouse‘s recently pressed underpants.
Authorities are allegedly seeking out animal cruelty charges over that last incident.
Good. Micky is a cherished icon, and his safety is paramount.
Julian Mentat says
My brother sneaked a read of my private diary, but did the FBI investigate? Oh, no! If you ask me, they don’t care about anyone outside of the USA!
Agent Cool Y says
The FBI only works in America! Ideot
ha says
lol.. idiot
Nessie says
The FBI does work outside the us! A kid in Germany hacked Obamas twitter or email and they arrested him in Germany! So idk what u talking about!
Becca says
Miley Cyrus is a little slag
peter says
geia eimai o petros tha kaneis kamia sinavlia stin athina?
george barounis says
GEIA SOY EIMAI O GEORGE MPAROUNIS POTE THA KANEIS KAMIA SYNAYLIA STIN ATHINA KAI KATI ALLLO I LOVE YOU!!!!!!