Justin Timberlake recently proclaimed that he's bringing sexy back, before adding that we 'oomshra-ukrums' don't know how to act – that's what we thought he said anyway, we only heard the radio-edit of the song.
Our point is that Justin Timberlake really meant it when he told us that he was bringing sexy back. We had thought that he just meant he was bringing sexy back in a way that involved singing over the top of a noise that sounds like supermarket barcode-reader gone frantically out of control, but Justin Timberlake wants to bring sexy back in a more comprehensive way – Justin Timberlake has just designed his first clothing line, which has been through vigorously exacting scientific tests to ensure that each garment meets the requisite level of sexiness.
Justin Timberlake is an easy target for mockery, from his tightly-curled pubic haircut right the way down to his sub-Jackson dancing shoes. Only Justin Timberlake didn't see the irony when he – a former Mickey Mouse Club star turned manufactured boyband singer – decided to rail on American Idol winner Taylor Hicks, and Justin's much-heralded movie career choked at the first hurdle. But people who tell you things like this are just haters who are jealous of Justin Timberlake's fame and ability to use compound words at the drop of a hat, just like the guy who tried running Justin and Cameron Diaz over the other week, and anyone who'll dare mock Justin Timberlake for designing clothes even though all he does is sing songs for a living.
On Tuesday Justin Timberlake unveiled step three in his quest for world domination, after singing some Michael Jackson cast-offs and then showing Janet Jackson's boobs to everyone – his William Rast clothing line. In front of celebrities like his own girlfriend and Paris Hilton, Justin Timberlake displayed the first fruits of his new career as a fashion designer right after he announced a huge world tour. And MTV reports:
The evening's runway show previewed the line's 2007 spring/summer collection. That includes gingham bustier tops and muted mini dresses for women, dress shirts and sweater vests with skinny ties for men – and a heavy emphasis on denim for everyone. "What we've been really successful with has been the denim, and in our generation, denim is a staple," Timberlake explained, sounding like a seasoned fashion vet. It's something you build an outfit around, so that's kind of where we always start from. And one thing we were kind of apprehensive to go with was pinstripe denim. But it seems everyone we show it to loves it."
Pinstripe denim? Gingham? It goes without saying that, no matter how rubbish the William Rast clothing line sounds like to us, it'll be a huge success simply because it was designed by Justin Timberlake. If only the same could be said for the hecklerspray clothing line, which so far only includes one T-shirt that's fairly disparaging towards marine wildlife and the piles of unsold man-nappies that we were hoping to corner the lucrative paraphilitic infantilism market with.
Read more:
Justin Busts Out New Denim-Heavy Clothing Line For Cameron, Paris – MTV
[story by Stuart Heritage]
cathy hancock says
I have just read all of the above articles:
YOUR A SATIRIST, RIGHT !!!!!/?????