Justin Timberlake ain't good for much. Sure, he can rip patches of clothing off soon-to-be fat black women, write the most annoying McDonalds catch phrase ever, and not date Britney Spears anymore, but really, what's that all add up to? Nada – it all adds up to nada.
On the up & up, however, Timberlake seems to have a deep lying distaste for the American Idol franchise – more specifically its newest champion Taylor Hicks. Suddenly we find ourselves more or less aligned with T-lake, and it's got us completely baffled. This alliance could be crucial, because as we've said a million times – that American Idol show's gonna kill us all. There will come a time when American Idol updates on every single morning news show every single morning will spark a global war that will flow like grapes in wine country. The Idol lovers and haters will be at each other's throats – just you watch.
Now when that day comes, and hecklerspray finds itself mortally wounded and dying in Justin Timberlake's cradled arms, we hope he's got the sense of mind to sing us SexyBack in whisper voice. Now that's a warrior's death!
So Justin Timberlake, the cotton-headed tyke we've watched grow from a kid on The New Mickey Mouse Club to to a kid who used to be on The New Mickey Mouse Club, well he hates Taylor Hicks. And that's a real shame too, since Hicks exudes so much southern charm. That's what you call it, right?
Apparently this boiling contempt has really been pent up, because Justin Timberlake opened his mouth just a little bit, and it all came spouting out. Here's a whole bunch of his derogatory remarks regarding Hicks:
"…the guy who won–people think he looks so normal, and he's so sweet, and he's so earnest, but he can't carry a tune in a bucket."
Then he up and said:
"If he has any skeletons whatsoever, if God forbid, he's gay, and all these people in Mississippi who voted for him are like, 'Oh, my God, I voted for a queer!'"
And then he went:
"Still, I'd very much like to see [Taylor's] chest."
OK, we made up that last quote, and Justin Timberlake's only talking slave Ken Sunshine says the other two have been taken way out of context. He went as far as saying Timberlake "…meant no harm" by his can't carry a tune in a bucket comment, and that Timberlake: "…is totally amped to read Hicks' impending biography 'Heart Full of Soul'."
Ok, that last quote's a fake too, but we bet Justin Timberlake's all pumped for the Taylor Hicks' life story. We are too. A friend of our claims he already saw a few pages – here's a very summarised excerpt:
"…and when I finished repeatedly making love to Counselor Troy again and again and again for the umpteenth time, I knew it was up to me to unite the federation against the impending Klingon threat. I decided to do all that in my blue robe."
That's just a little teaser for ya. It hits shelves not-soon-enough.
Read more:
Justin's Justifiable Disgust – Newsday
[story by Shawn Lindseth]
mullis says
Taylor Hicks is the real thing. He is a true entertainer in every sense of the word. Timberlake is just a hanger on who so far has received claim to fame either on Mickey Mouse or by dating far more successful women! It is a shame that someone with the talents, good manners, great looks and a true Southern gentleman should be attacked by someone of no consequence at all and that the press should pick it up and give such crude comments any legs at all. It does however show exactly what jealousy looks like. GO TAYLOR! You continue to make Alabama and the rest of the country very proud indeed with your good looks, fabulous talent and class!
TaylorandElliottalltheway says
I HATE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE FOR THAT MATTER! I HAVE NEVER EVER THOUGHT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE WAS A GOOD SINGER! TAYLOR HICKS IS A WAY BETTER SINGER THEN HIM. TAYLOR HICKS IS MORE FUNNY THEN HIM. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IS JUST JEALOUS OVER TAYLOR HICKS. TAYLOR HICKS IS SO CUTE. SO WHO ELSE DOES JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE NOT LIKE ON AMERICAN IDOL. IF THE NEXT PERSON HE HATES IS ELLIOTT, I WILL HATE JUSTIN EVEN MORE. I LOVE ELLIOTT, TAYLOR, KAT,AND CHRIS. THOSE ARE MY ALL TIME FAVORITE ON IDOL. I HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING NICE THOUGH TO JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. I LIKE YOUR NEW SONG SEXY BACK. HOWEVER, I WILL NOT BUY THE CD BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER HEARD ANY OTHER SONGS ON THE CD. WELL WHAT EVER I AM STILL GOING TO BE A SOUL PATROL FAN AND NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS, TAYLOR HICKS IS WAY COOLER THEN JUSTIN!
taytay says
Justin said what would be the reaction of the Soul Patrol if Taylor would turn out to be gay?Justin said Taylor fans couldn’t handle it. Look at the rabid response from the Soul Patrol. They can’t handle even the thought. It has become a Justin bash fest. They would turn on Taylor the same way they are turning on Justin now. BTW Justin has Grammys. Taylor doesn’t even have an album out there but he has a Ford Commercial. LMAO. It is not all about the music for Taylor, now is it. I love the Taylor fans always bashing Mickey Mouse, meanwhile Taylor wins a singing contest where you can vote as many times as you want. I love the comments about dating a more successful woman. Duh maybe in movies but how many millions of albums and Grammys does she have? How many Grammys does Taylor have? How many albums did Taylor sell before Idol. At least Justin has been successful both with NSynch and alone. All around entertainer. What movies has Taylor been in? Lets talk about dancing. Justin can, Taylor can’t. That is talking back to all the Fantasia haters who used make fun of her dancing and Ruben just standing there. I will take Fantasia and Ruben’s natural soul anyday over Taylors twitches and facial tics. Tunes, Justin can stay in tune, Taylor can’t. Shape, Justin is in shape. Taylor sweats and has a soft belly.
JustinHater says
“When Rolling Stone magazine called Justin Timberlake the new “King of Pop”, I nearly puked. He is in NO WAY the new King of Pop. He’s only had one hit album–that didn’t even peek at #1 on the Billboard Charts–a couple of hit singles, and won a few awards. Big deal. Does that rightfully give him the “King of Pop” title?! Noooooo! After all, Michael Jackson didn’t become King of Pop overnight.
So why, might I ask, is there this sudden interest in Justin? Perhaps it’s his looks, though to me he is ugly. Or maybe it’s his dancing. But let’s face it: anybody can dance when they’ve got the right choreogropher…he certainly didn’t make up those dance moves himself. Just like anyone can look good when they work out every day at a gym and wear makeup and style their hair the right way.
So really WHAT is it? It can’t be his singing…he sounds like a GIRL! Songwriting? Nah…he didn’t write any of his songs. So I conclude that it’s gotta be the hype around Justin and his doomed relationship with Britney Spears. A pop star, whom at the time, was a lot more famous than himself. He completely used Britney to sell records. If you Justin fans can’t see this than you’ve been brainwashed by him. He made everyone think that he was totally innocent in the little game they played. He called Britney the “cheater” and basically begged for sympathy. Well, it looks like he got his wish, didn’t he? He’s nothing but a tool to the music industry. A publicity whore.
Justin Lover says
JT is so hot wat d **** are u talkin about toylor???? Hes d best! I was crying wid joy when I heard dat jt is da king of pop. He is soooooooooooooo not a michael jackson wannabe. His voice is sweet not girly!!!!!! Whatever jt sings it is way better than Taylors. Taylor! Hear me! U suck b****