Jennifer Aniston has grown tired of promoting her movies with endless barbed attacks on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
So she’s moved on. However, Jennifer Aniston isn’t one to rest on her laurels, so she’s spent months devising an even more effective way to publicise her new movie Love Happens. And it’s brilliant. Banging on about her ex-husband all the time might be annoying, you see, but it doesn’t actually cause physical pain. But singing a song on TV? Bingo! That’s both annoying and excruciating!
The video’s after the jump. That’s not a reminder – more a stark, stark warning.
We can’t predict the future, but it seems like a fair guess to say that Jennifer Aniston’s new movie Love Happens won’t do particularly well at the box office. This is for several reasons, all of which we’re about to list to you…
1 – It’s called Love Happens, a title so cloyingly twee that producers may as well have just replaced it with a picture of a kitten in a child’s wellington boot.
2 – It’s got Aaron Eckhart in it, and anybody who’s seen No Reservations will know that he won’t rest until he’s made the absolute worst romantic film in the history of the moving image.
3 – The Love Happens trailer makes us want to vomit into a boxing glove, then freeze the boxing glove, then punch ourselves unconscious with the frozen vomit boxing glove.
4 – Jennifer Aniston hasn’t been promoting it by bleating on about how sad she is about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and every single possible aspect of her personal life.
That last one’s important. Nobody went to see Marley & Me or He’s Just Not That Into You because they were good films – they endured them because they knew that if the movies failed then Jennifer Aniston wouldn’t get as many chances to whine about how crappy her life is to magazines in toe-curling detail. The more she moans, the more people feel obliged to watch her films.
But Jennifer Aniston hasn’t been whining about anything to promote Love Happens. She’s trying a different tactic. She’s singing. On television. To Ellen DeGeneres. Look…
Oh, we’re being harsh on Jennifer Aniston. To be fair, the singing wasn’t horrible and she was ambushed into doing it. It’s not like she’s got such a high opinion of her own singing ability that she’s making a new film where she plays a singing prisoner, is it? Because, come on, that would be ridiculous. Oh, what’s that, Jennifer Aniston in the video above in the preamble to the actual song?
“Yes! I will sing and play a dobro. It’s the story of the first female country and western band… I play one of the singers.”
Son of a bitch.
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halo says
Ok, for once, ONCE i disagree with you, but not entirely.
Yes her singing it AWFUL!!!!!!!
But I would really like to see her in a good movie – or at least NOT a romantic comedy. I think the woman can act, but she must have the WORST agent in hollywood.
Barnaby says
I’ve grown tired of her in the romantic movie or feel good movie thing
it’s like ok there’s life out there I get it!!! Next!!!
I liked her in that suspense set up movie thing I can’t remember the title but it’s a good movie
I hate to say it but the show friends was spot on for her and the whole cast
they fit so frickin well in that show it was perfect. It sucks that things get old and we all have to move on, so yeah, even will n grace that show was pretty cool I loved Karen an Just Jack!
Why am I reminising? Wow I really like talkin to myself…you would too if you were me!
I said that in case someone else reads this..
Ok lost my train of thought, now for a commercial
Sunday Sunday Sunday supercar Speedway! Bring the kids bring the family bring your mother in law!
To the big race!!!! 1234 fast lane center! That’s 1234 fast lane center! Open until 11 pm BE THERE!!!
Ok I’m back but yea Jennifer aniston she’s got that somethin somethin